I’m new to BlahTherapy, but I’m happy to be here.
When I was 13 I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I don’t tell everybody, but when I do, they say “You? Really! You’re always in a good mood, you’re like never sad.”
Well the truth is, is depression is more than being sad. I learned that quickly.
I became confused, frustrated, stressed, hopeless. All of these adjectives in my head, everyday of my life. I felt overweight, unwanted, undesirable. While I was trying my best to make it seem like I was fine, I wasn’t. I fooled everyone. It was the perfect cover.
By the time I turned 14 I turned to something I thought I never would. I began to self-harm. I turned to my friends and teachers for help, getting everything that they could give me. Finally after 6 months I tried to overdose on a few pills. Nothing worked and nothing could take me out of here.
I didn’t want to seek help. But when my mom found my scars, I had no choice, right?
Now I am 19 years old, I have completely turned myself around. I went to trade school and I have become a very successful beautician, and I one day hope to write a screenplay that will make people’s eyes water-from laughing too hard. When I was 16 I decided to lose weight, making myself 45 pounds lighter and 45% happier.
I look back on when I was 15, trying to get help and thinking that no one cared about me. They did. I think, they gave me all they could, and I’m ok with that. But the one thing that I cannot stress enough, is this.
You can scream and say no one cares and no one is giving help, but there will come a point where you need to get up, and help yourself as well.
I can proudly say, that I did indeed help myself. It’s not easy. It took a lot of trial and error, but if I can wake up in the morning and still open my window shades, I want to help others do that, too.