Nix said 10 years, 6 months ago:

Hey, I’m Nikki or I like Nix better. (It’s my internet name) I’m doing a quick introduction of myself, and maybe you can reply with yours.

This group is pretty limited in discussion it seems. No offense if there have been discussions before, but I personally would like to expand my knowledge on this condition as it feels like it’s going to be with me awhile. Not just knowledge on DP itself, I can wiki everything, but knowledge of how other people actually deal with this. Maybe this is the wrong place to start. I know there are designated sites for this.

Anyways, I’m 21. DP came to me overnight. I was 8 years old, and my brother was being born. I guess I thought it stressful as I was worried about my mom dying giving birth. A few years before this I was sexually abused at a neighbors house.

My mom and I didn’t get along when I was growing up. She used to give me a lot of silent treatment. She’d also tell me that she was going to call De-fax on me. One time I was told to pack my things and we drove into town where she threatened to drop me off and leave. My dad was never in my life. So there were a lot of men in and out of my life. There was a lot of moving. I never felt like I had a home, or a safe place really even though I was probably completely fine.

Today I deal with my DP because it’s what I’m used to. It’s apart of me. I also have depression, and when I’m really stressed out I have mental break downs. Sometimes I have no one to talk to.

My DP is ever-going, always constant. In it’s time with me it has only gone away for a minute period. I was 12 laying in the grass behind my house looking up at the sky. I wasn’t thinking about anything at all really. I felt it go away, and come back as fast as it left.

I used to tell my mom I felt like I was in a dream. Over and over I’d cry and try to explain to her how I felt. Today I still find this feeling insanely frustrating, and sometimes overwhelming to think about. I will be walking home from work and I feel like I’m not actually walking. Someone else is walking for me. I’m somewhere else.. I have a hard time relating to others. Also expressing emotions for/to other people is hard for me. Talking, having a conversation is literally sometimes a struggle for me. (It depends on the other person honestly)

I am in a constant fog.. a daze.. always zoned out. I cannot recognize certain details, and I often forget things I do everyday.

I feel like I’m rambling so I’ll end this, though I could possibly go on with information if someone were to actually want me to.

Thanks for reading ~ Nix

Deleted User said 10 years, 6 months ago:

Oh gosh… my boyfriend is dealing with it, too. For ages. Since he had been 15 I think.
He told me about it even before we became a couple… we were still just friends back then. So I “knew” about it right from the start.

And yeah… so I googled it and read books about it and tried to soak up all kind of information I could find about it and stuff. The most helpful thing was the forum I joined for a while though. Although it was a bit… shocking, dunnowhat… to find out that I was the ONLY person in there who was NOT suffering from DPD, but joined that forum because of her boyfriend. I mean… wow :-S… so that means… EITHER it is so hard to tell others about it and to explain it to them… OR everyone (like, friends and family) just don’t care :-S! Or at least don’t care enough to join a forum and try to get involved a little. And either way, it’s… scary. And sad. o.O

But well… we’re together for about 4 1/2 years now. He doesn’t really like talking about that stuff, though. He’s more like… getting distracted and doing whatever he would possible do without DPD… and not being pulled down by thinking too much about it. And maybe he just doesn’t want me to pity him all the time. Which I totally accept.

But at least I’ve gained enough background info on that stuff to know how to handle it. I mean… I guess I don’t really know how he feels, cause you just CAN’T know that… you aren’t able to… if you’ve never experienced it on your own. Cause it’s just waaaaayyy above your imagination. But I guess I know as much as an “outsider” like me is able to.

Yeah… so… I also feel like I’m rambling . But it’s just like… THAT topic. You can’t describe ANYTHING about it within one sentence, you just NEED to write novels in a way…

I guess I just wanted to say hi from “the other side”.
So… hi there, if you’d like to discuss anything about that issue, feel free to do so.

Deleted User said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Is that Kurt Cobain in the photo for this group?