Okay, since I’m in a bit of a better mood, I’ll explain:
From my perspective, dating IS what it’s all cracked up to be. Getting out of the house, doing something with some one, such as video games, or parks, or restaurants; sounds great. There are loads of other benefits, but I don’t feel the need to list them all, since any one who could actually help would know them all. An assumption? You bet, but one I’m willing to make.
On the other hand, I don’t like the idea of dating. Too many things to go wrong; say the wrong thing, act the wrong way, do the wrong thing. Lots to constantly think about. And I don’t want to hear a “just have fun,” because my mind works at a million miles an hour (still slower than speed of light, by the way), constantly thinking, constantly analyzing. That will never go away. I WILL be thinking of stuff that could happen in the future. It’s just who I am.
I mean, I can’t even bear the idea of asking some one out. I’ve no fear of rejection. In fact, I prefer rejection, because that means I’ll never have to talk to the person again, and can just walk away. If they accept though, I have to do stuff, and prepare for stuff. No matter what happens, or how fun it COULD, THEORETICALLY, be I estimate I’ll be dumped within 3 months, or raped. Yes, you read that right, it is a real fear and thought I have. And if some one were to ask me out? I get extremely uncomfortable, responding in the most sarcastic and jerk-ish way possible, because I’ve noticed that gets people to move away from me.
Meanwhile, I am definitely behind every one else by as much as 15 years. With zero experience, I’ve no idea what to do. I only have vague ideas of when certain events are expected, such as first kiss, sex, etc., and I know I won’t respond the way I’m supposed to. I will delay. Indefinitely. As much as I want to experience those situations, I’ll avoid them, because the result will be horrible. I don’t have the benefit of being young and stupid; it is my experience that by my age, one is expected to know a lot, which I don’t, which means I’ve lost before the battle has begun. I don’t want to hear that people will forgive mistakes and screwups on such “silly” matters, because I don’t believe it. I’ve seen and been through mountains of evidence that life is not that butterfly, unicorn, rainbow-ee.
And now I’m rambling… Kinda forgot what my plan for this post was…