I’m sure you’ve gotten past this situation but I’m writing this anyway.
Sorry… my shpiel started out okay but it turned into my own personal experience. Hopefully you can at least see it from my perspective. I’d say, do what makes you feel better. But at some point that becomes so irresponsible. Especially when you’re juggling another person’s feelings along with it.
The worst part about being broken up with the lack of communication. Maybe I’m just not lucky, but not one, out of my 3 biggest loves had ever owned up to their actions, words or emotions. Thing is, I’m more confrontational than she is.
I think some people will tell you that avoiding is ok. Yeah, for you. Aghh.. sorry I’m trying not to bring up my own personal, absolute FURY! At that type of outlook… The idea of just avoiding a problem drives me up the wall. Not knowing what she’s thinking.
I’ve put so much effort in being 100% honest with her, yet she can’t bring herself to address this. I understood it. She wants to avoid feeling bad.
So she broke my heart.
She feels bad about it – She doesn’t let me know. Not one message showing me that she DOES CARE. She gave me nothing! Which makes me feel like I was nothing! Even though she felt bad, she never let me know.
She wants to feel better – She does by getting a rebound
Don’t get me wrong. She had every right to make herself feel better.
She doesn’t have to go out of her way to make it easier for me. But as someone who told me they loved me, for real, I expected more compassion and more understanding. But by that point I was enraged at how cold she was with me and yea… that relationship was pretty much lost forever.
“You don’t owe me anything, not discussion, not compassion, not the truth.”
Is what I felt. Receiving none of that, from a person that supposedly loved you… yeah.. It’s extremely painful.
So much pain… The avoiding. The cold, lack of compassion. It’s so hard to transition out of that when breaking up. If someone in a relationship is taking it extra hard… I don’t even know what to say anymore… Just have some compassion. Slowly let them go. Be aware that it’s hard for the other person. Speak like you know that it’s difficult. Don’t just be cold. Because that’s where you really crush someone. Someone that really cares anyway.
Don’t treat him like a baby. Don’t give him false hope.
But don’t be so cold either. You got wrapped up. Now you have to unravel…
Or maybe not. It’s not your problem after all. But if you feel this bad about it then yeah. Maybe unravel the knot; his emotions towards you.
I understand most people have a problem with confrontation.
But avoiding problems isn’t what makes you stronger.
Going through with them, getting in the fire, figuring it out, is what makes you stronger. You learn from going through those things.
And you grow as a person.
It’s not easy, but it’s not supposed to be easy.
Bleh… I wish I wasn’t just cut off like I just don’t matter.
Like all the time we spent together meant nothing.