Deleted User said 10 years, 4 months ago:

I am disabled and a student. I take care of my bills with my student grants/scholarships/loans.

I also volunteer though, as I can.

So I usually just tell them self-employed, since I work odd jobs.

wisewoman said 10 years, 4 months ago:

Tell your date about your employment situation right away. If they are the sort of person that cares about that kind of thing, then you will know up front and you will give them an opportunity to opt out of any potential relationship. That way you can avoid possible rejection after you begin to develop feelings for the other person.

Diana said 10 years, 4 months ago:

As a volunteer myself, I’m kind of pissed off about these men’s reaction toward you. They should admire you for working without pay and in spite of being disabled. You could easily spend all that time and effort only on yourself, but you don’t. You help people by working for free. I think that’s pretty neat of you. Have you ever thought about it this way: rather than just a rejection, take it as a blessing in disguise, because you learn their true colors from the get-go and don’t have to put up with it later when you already feel attached and have all sorts of complex feelings about staying or leaving. I’m sure there are also plenty of men who would appreciate your initiative, work, and altruism. Until then, keep looking, maybe try to see if there’s a pattern in the men you choose, something you might be able to change to meet men who are more likely to appreciate your lifestyle. I can’t really tell you about coping with rejection because we all face it differently, it means something different to everyone, but one thing which I think is common to most is, make sure you are loving yourself and not rejecting yourself. Then you will be less affected by rejection coming from the outside because it won’t have anything to do with you.

Deleted User said 10 years, 4 months ago:

ty vivid and diana!

I need to hear all this. Desperately. thanks!

It really makes me mad too.

Another one (the doctor friend) did this to me too. He said he appreciated me then did not email me again as he said he would.

I think there is a pattern.

I was raised by an emotionally unavailable person and I know theer is a pattern. Men like this are FAMILIAR to me.

The good news is I am rejecting THEM a lot quicker. I am no longer letting somoene string me along.

No more games, no more kidding myself into thinking someone cares about me when they act like they don’t!

thanks agian,

PC

Deleted User said 10 years, 4 months ago:

thanks hazel. you are right. they don’t.