Helith said 6 years, 5 months ago:

In exactly 4 days, it’ll be 5 months since my ex left me and on July 12, it’ll be 3 months since I stopped all contact and blocked him on Facebook. I cut off all sources of contact, though we have 1 mutual friend, who I speak with on a daily basis.

I’ve only once asked about him and I still often vent a bit but I never say anything negative.

I’m remaining positive and trying my best to move on. I don’t really regret cutting all ties because I simply just couldn’t be his friend.

It hurts like hell, I mean.. it really really hurts. Every time I think back, it’s like someone is driving a serrated knife through my chest and piercing my heart, twisting the knife and stabbing me over and over.

It’s excrutiating.

However, I’ve tried several ways of coping and I’ve come this far, so I’m in no way going back, I’m not going to contact him or in any way beg for him to take me back.

I don’t see any purpose of doing that.

So instead I sat down and began writing a letter. A letter explaining everything, why I acted the way I did, how I felt, how I wish things had turned out, how I regret not seeing the signs, how I was the pebble that started the avalanche and everything that came to my mind.

Without sending it.

I see it was a way to let it all out, to let it all go and to leave words out there for no one to hear, not really doing anything but helping me cleanse my heart and mind.

I don’t really know if anyone has had any experience with this? It may sound crazy or stupid, perhaps you may even think it’s just a desperate attempt to hold on, but in truth it did help me let go bit by bit.

Anyways, anyone who has done this?

Red Sheep said 6 years, 5 months ago:

I’ve done this, and actually it happened the same thing to me. I was the one being left, and we have a friend in common who I talk to. Just a few times she talked about my ex, but I’ve never asked anything, and it’s been more than a year already from our break-up. At the begenning, I was full of hatred, but that same week, to begin to move on right away, I wrote in a diary what I felt and a summary of our story.

I felt really strong, because after two weeks I began to not think about him anymore. After a month I cut off all ties and contacts, and I just put in a box his gifts. Now that box lies at the bottom of my closet with my memories, and I don’t need to open that box. Things are over with him, and I’ve never been so happy.

rinseandrep said 6 years, 5 months ago:

Writing letters to not send is a good way to cope with emotions and experiences on your own, you stumbled upon an exercise that many suggest, for many different afflictions. There are more exercises like this, “Getting Past Your Breakup” by Elliot, mentions more, like relationship inventories (this might help you dealing with the pain you feel looking back, as with it you look at the past both in the good and the bad), positive affirmations, and the no contact rule, that you also adopted well. So if you want to try more things on that line, you can check the book.

Helith said 6 years, 5 months ago:

Thank you both, I am so happy to hear I’m not alone in this.

It really did help me a lot, though I still get flash backs. I purchased the book as suggest, thank you so much.

I’m just curious as to if any have advice on how to truly make peace with it…

King (: said 6 years, 5 months ago:

Same , the one thing you could do now , is to find something that occupies your mind so that you won’t think of it. Find something you enioy , be it a hobby or talking to someone , i guess its better at least you’ll feel happy instead of keep thinking of it. Time will heal everything , and in time to come , maybe you could finally accept him as a friend ? Who knows , i’m a friend to my ex now , i know how hard it is at first but when you stop thinking about it , you’ll realise actually you can be friends with him , but just not now , all the best !