In exactly 4 days, it’ll be 5 months since my ex left me and on July 12, it’ll be 3 months since I stopped all contact and blocked him on Facebook. I cut off all sources of contact, though we have 1 mutual friend, who I speak with on a daily basis.
I’ve only once asked about him and I still often vent a bit but I never say anything negative.
I’m remaining positive and trying my best to move on. I don’t really regret cutting all ties because I simply just couldn’t be his friend.
It hurts like hell, I mean.. it really really hurts. Every time I think back, it’s like someone is driving a serrated knife through my chest and piercing my heart, twisting the knife and stabbing me over and over.
However, I’ve tried several ways of coping and I’ve come this far, so I’m in no way going back, I’m not going to contact him or in any way beg for him to take me back.
I don’t see any purpose of doing that.
So instead I sat down and began writing a letter. A letter explaining everything, why I acted the way I did, how I felt, how I wish things had turned out, how I regret not seeing the signs, how I was the pebble that started the avalanche and everything that came to my mind.
Without sending it.
I see it was a way to let it all out, to let it all go and to leave words out there for no one to hear, not really doing anything but helping me cleanse my heart and mind.
I don’t really know if anyone has had any experience with this? It may sound crazy or stupid, perhaps you may even think it’s just a desperate attempt to hold on, but in truth it did help me let go bit by bit.
Anyways, anyone who has done this?