Matt said 10 years, 9 months ago:

I know this is kind of a confusing situation and I know I’ve talked to a few of you on the anonymous chat. I just confused as to what to do. Let me just give you as brief as I can go description of whats going on in my life. I had been dating this girl for over year and on Wednesday night she comes over to my house crying saying she wants to break up.
Now that night she didnt say a lot as to why, she just said we’re two different people with different interests. Now this was a shock to me because one, I had never seen her cry before so I didnt really know how to react and the other reason is that I thought things were going well. We never really argued and it seemed like whenever we were together we laughed and had a good time.
Its just confusing because she has been gone for a week because she went to Haiti, so she came back and we caught up with another and talked on monday. She told me all about Haiti, the night ended well, we were kissing and just said good night and I love you. Then on Wednesday night she comes to my apartment, crying and pacing and starts telling me we should break-up and that she’s been feeling this way for a couple weeks. I asked her if theres anything I could do and she just kept shaking her head. All she really said was were two different people and that she likes doing more things outdoors and unfortunately I get into these ruts where I just stay in my bubble.
So on thursday it was bothering me we why and I just had to contact. I sent her a message on facebook knowing with how much I needed to type out it would be easier that way. I told her that I did not want to give up on us just yet and that if she has doubts about me becoming more of an outdoor person think about all of the things I changed about myself in the last year, I quit smoking, I moved out into my own apartment, I’m going back to college. These are all big things especially for me who has a hard time getting out of his bubble. So I pointed out with all of these changes I have made I can certainly go hiking more often, try camping, go up to your lakehouse.
She sent a message back telling me she appreciates that I am willing to change but she wishes I was more willing to try those things before we broke up. Points out that she felt like she had to pull out her teeth just to get me to go to the lakehouse, to see her mother, go hiking and camping. Finally she goes onto say she needs to focus on school right now which is one of those corny lines that a person says when they dont want to be truthful.
Where I am confused with all of this is, for each of those things she listed she hadnt asked me in months and she didnt ask me a lot. The lakehouse she asked me one time and it was in april and april was a very cold month so I said lets wait until it gets a little warmer. For her mom, it was in the middle of winter when she asked and we were suppose to get a snow storm and her mom lives 40-50 minutes away in the middle of no-where. For hiking we discussed it maybe a month ago but we made prior arrangements to go to a movie and realized we just didnt have the time that day and she didnt ask since. (Which by the way she said we wont have enough time). Finally the camping, I had never done it so I was hesitant because something about sleeping on the ground just doesnt sound appealing to me but was willing to try it, she just hadnt asked since once again the winter. Which we made plans to do it in the summer.
I get that she got frustrated with me because instead of talking to me about and even asking if I wanted to do those things. She assumed I would say no and clearly just got more and more frustrated with it to the point she broke up with me. What I find a little frustrating is I told her I get into ruts and need a kick in the pants and be told to do stuff. I usually enjoy myself, I dont know why but trying new things I get a little hesitant. So doesnt it seem like a simple conversation couldve avoided this? The other thing that confuses me is monday, we kissed, had a good time she even bought me a keychain from haiti and gave it to me. Why would you buy a keychain for someone you plan on breaking up with?
I still love her and care about her but at this point I’m not sure If I want to even try and get her back. What do you guys think? Do you think theres more to this? Do you think she just lost interest in me? She I text her again, I feel like I should wait if I do.

Deleted User said 10 years, 9 months ago:

eehh I don’t necessarily think she is seeing someone else, but from what I can tell, maybe you two are in fact just two different people. She cares about you, she thinks about you, especially buying you that keychain, but you’re not the type of person that she has in mind to spend time with for the rest of her life, and the one example about you not really wanting to go out and do stuff spontaneously is a great example of how different you guys are. Yeah you’re willing to “change” stuff, but she doesn’t want you to have to change anything about you to make her happy, she wants you to already have been that kind of person, maybe she feels that she can’t bring up “going places” because she knows you don’t want to, and maybe that doesn’t make her feel good. I’m sure there’s way more to the story than just you two not having differences on this, which is why I don’t think she broke up with you for THIS sole reason, but it just goes to show the connection just isn’t there. She cares about you, she loves you, but the relationship connection just isn’t there, there is no fire anymore, and that’s fine, it’s going to hurt, it does hurt, pretty damn bad. She may not be seeing anyone else, but she most definitely sees the potential with other guys I’m sure, which is probably why she broke up with you, but right now, give it some time.