Lili said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Sorry, this is going to be a bit long.
I just started going out with this girl (we’re both bi girls), and I managed to find out that she liked me. At the time, I guess I thought I liked her as well, but I don’t. I’m just not attracted to her, and while I like her well enough as a friend, I just don’t feel for her as more than that. But I know she likes me a lot, and I want to remain friends. I really wish I felt the same as she feels for me, because she’s really a great person, but no matter how hard I try, it’s just not happening.
I was just way too anxious to jump on the chance to be in a relationship because my best friend (the girl that I’ve liked for about a year) just got herself a girlfriend and maybe I thought that if I got a great bf/gf that I’d be able to move on, but it hasn’t worked. I know I’m a horrible person, and at this point I’m just stringing this poor girl along, but I don’t know what to do. Neither of us has ‘come out’ yet, so at least I have an excuse to not openly be with her (I’m aware how awful this sounds) and I’ve just been playing along until now because I kept hoping that I’d realize that I really DID like her, and I’m lucky to have her, but I realize that it’s going to cause more harm than good. We haven’t been going out for long, just a few days, but she’s already really attached, which another thing that’s really just turning me off, I think. She’s always texting me and sending cutesy pictures. Heck, she’s already said that she ‘loves me’ in a text, and while I doubt she really means it, it’s really just making me that much more uncomfortable with the entire situation. She got out of a really crappy relationship a little while ago, and apparently used to cut as well, so all in all, I’m terrified of saying anything. What am I supposed to do? Should I wait a little bit and see if I do begin to like her as more than a friend (maybe I don’t currently just because I’m still hopelessly pining after my best friend?), should I break up as soon as possible, and the most important thing is, how am I supposed to break up with her at all and remain her friend?

A said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Swifting is right, Lili. You can’t just let things go the way they are. If you think it’s not working out with her, then you should tell her, before things get even more complicated. Remember: you should be honest with her, but can’t be rude. Explain your point of view, that you wanted to forget about someone else but it didn’t work out. Sure it’ll be hard for her and for you, but someday she’ll understand you did the best for both of you.

P.S: my english is not very good, so ignore the errors.