Lucipherous said 7 years, 11 months ago:

i was in a long distance relationship for a little over a month with one of my very, very good friends who moved away a few years back. he came to visit me and it was amazing and i fell in love instantly. he was the sweetest boy i’d ever been with. he showed he loved me. he got along with my family, they all loved him. it was perfect until he went back home. communication was hard under our circumstances. i understood that. but then he just started flat out ignoring me. he’d play video games instead of talking to me. we’d get in arguments. the distance put us both under a lot of stress. so i broke up with him. it was stupid and i regretted it, i wish i wouldve just talked to him about it. but then he got this new girlfriend. a few days ago, he came to me and told me that he didn’t like her, he was still in love with me, he just didn’t want to break her heart. so today, he worked up the courage to dump her. and he did. then he had explained to me that he doesn’t want a girlfriend. that really pissed me off because he got my hopes up, acted like he was dumping her to be with me again, then just “no sorry, relationships are too much stress.” but he wants to be my friend and he doesn’t want to lose me completely and i don’t know what to do about him. should i just stop talking to him? should i be his friend? is this all my fault because i dumped him in the first place? did i deserve that?

(◣_◢)Poet said 7 years, 11 months ago:

you probably shouldn’t have dumped him, that’s where needing to learn patience comes in; don’t act on passion unless its rooted in love; your passion was rooted in anger of not getting your way. You are a teenager. He is a teenager. Teenagers like video games. It becoming long distance only adds to your lack of patience, since those types of relationships are 50% patience and 40% hope and 10% desperation.

At this point you shouldn’t expect him to make any commitments. He’s a young man who still has a long ways before he’s capable of making commitments, hence the difference between a girlfriend and a wife; the commitment between a girlfriend and a boyfriend is imaginary, the one between wife and husband is backed by law.

you can accept the friendship, which is hollow in itself because the first chance he gets to hook up with you, he will, so the friend thing isn’t all that real, at least not immediately. until you are both patient about not jumping into relationships and learning to appreciate other people for just being present and not always being present as the ultra awesome adorable love of your life. life is not that serious.

Ides said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I would say that neither of you have really done anything too wrong in this situation. Long distance is hard for anyone. It sucks that he got your hopes up, but you’re both young and he probably didn’t really know what the hell he wanted. You will both change your minds many more times in life about what you want and from whom.

I think you should continue to be friends with him as you will probably regret losing a good friend more than you will a potential boyfriend in the long run. But in the end, if he really hurt you and you don’t see the friendship being what it used to be, just do whatever makes you happiest. :)

Selena said 7 years, 11 months ago:

You need to give him time, let him think stuff over, but you also need to let him know that he cant neglect you. An animate object such as video games, shouldnt come before you. I think you two should talk face to face, not over a text or a phone call. It sounds to me like you’re not on the same page. Talk it out and get on the same page before moving forward.

Deleted User said 7 years, 10 months ago:

i think you should be his friend even though you might find it difficult. because think about how it would feel to not have him all together? just play the friend role for a little while and when he’s ready for a relationship again, i’m sure he’ll let you know.

Satellite//Heart♡ said 7 years, 10 months ago:

We all live and learn and maybe though you still feel you love him, you’ve been through a massive rollercoaster ride and it sounds like maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing for both of you to take some time out for yourselves. Being single can be great! But as for still speaking to him, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that just remember that right now you’re looking after you, becoming stronger..as is he and maybe once both of you are ready to be in a relationship again you will give it another go and things will be much stronger and healthier for you both. Just don’t drive yourself crazy with what ifs, the past is the past and things happened to lead you to this point you’re meant to be in.

isisvashay said 7 years, 10 months ago:

Just be a good friend cause it’s better to have him as a friend then not to have him at all. He might come around one da y but at this point you should just enjoy being single and have him as a close friend.