squirky said 5 years, 8 months ago:

This problem started 4 months ago, in end of October 2014. We nearly got married but due to conflict of compromise, end up I called it off. Few days later, I regretted & went back to beg for reconciliation, he said yes but worst part is his mother disapproves me for patching up with her son, so does his eldest sister & 2 younger sisters (his dad passed away 3 yrs ago).

His mom banned me from being friend with him, banned me to go to his house, banned me from talking or texting. From that day onwards, his mom is watching his back for 24/7 (they are living separately, few houses away but on the same street).

On end of Dec 2014, he flew to another city together with his mom to live with the 2 younger sisters as they were attending college there.

He was there for 40 days, we could not call & talk to each other..the only way we got connected was by way of texting & Skype.

He has returned on 31 Jan 2015 whereas his mom will be back for 1 week, on 14 Feb 2015. On the 3rd day of his return, he brought me to his house but eldest sister found out & was so frustrated & upset that he break the promises that he made with his mom – for not bringing me over.

She advises him to end it with me as there will be plenty of better woman than me. She said his mom could not even able to accept the fact that me still together with him as this will cause her heart attack.

She said she is sad that because of me, he turned his face from her & that their relationship become like that. She said she wishes to have each & every family members to live together, to reunite.

She dont wish to see that becausw of me, their family turns upside down. He told me that after what his mom has done to me, whatever they did to me, he no longer give a damn. He will just argue with them, he will defend & protect me.

I really wish that I can be with him but at the same time I dont wish to see that I’m the reason why there is no harmony in their family.

He really wants to be with me but he doesnt want to hurt his mom as he do not want to regret upon her death which was caused by us.

I love him but I couldnt let him go for the sake of their happiness. Am I selfish? What should I do?

little dainty said 5 years, 8 months ago:

It depends what your partner thinks mainly. I don’t understand why they don’t like you so much- maybe there are some compromises you need to make with his family?

If you’re not doing anything directly to agitate the family purposely, they should accept that he wants to be with you. heart attack or having a bad relationship with your partner in the process can’t be your doing, she needs to respect your partner’s decisions.

If they can’t then it’s your partner’s decision whether he wants his family or start a new one with you, and also whether you would live happily after knowing all this- it may affect you both so much you’re not happy anyway?

Rather than going head on with them you should try to make peace with them somehow, as it seems your partner cares a lot about his family. Think of their position as well as your own, why they are so upset with you and try to give way when you can.

Speak to your partner, and have a calm conversation with the family after if you can- Good luck!

rinseandrep said 5 years, 8 months ago:

I guess you can live like it’s a long distance relationship while things calm down.

rossy elizabeth estrada díaz said 5 years, 8 months ago:

And if you and your husband go to couples therapy, I think that could help in their relationship

Deleted User said 5 years, 8 months ago:

I’m sorry but wtf? He’s how old and seeing you bahind mommy’s back? He can’t man up and tell her “this is the woman I love and you should be happy for me”? Where the HELL are his balls?

Dump the coward already! YOU DESERVE BETTER. He doesn’t love you enough to even try to stand up his mother. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

This is not a man. This is a little boy afraid to make mommy mad but not willing to give up when YOU go running to him when he waves his weenie at you.


Being alone is not the worst thing in the world.


positive_mind said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Wow.. I got goosebumps reading your post. I am in a VERY similar situation as you and it started in october as well.. holy shit lol
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