Em said 8 years, 9 months ago:

I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the right group, but I’m going to do it anyway. This is an awkward topic for me, and I know I can talk about it here without judgment.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and have just had our first conversation about sex. He is experienced, but I’m a virgin. He has told me that he wants to, but he knows that it’s not something I’m ready for. I know that I will be ready for the possibility as we slowly become more intimate. My concern is I think I want to start taking birth control.

I have done some research, and I’m sure that I’m ready for the responsibility of taking it. I have read some experiences of people where it took a few months for the hormones to balance out, which is why I’m thinking about starting it sooner rather than later.

My main concern is having the talk with my mom. I don’t know how to approach her and talk about it without her immediately assuming that I’m currently having sex. (Right now she is focused on just meeting the guy. I can’t imagine what her reaction would be if I mentioned having sex with him.)

What are your experiences with birth control? How should I approach my mom abut getting it? Should I be thinking about it this early? General advice/tips?

Deleted User said 8 years, 9 months ago:

Well, how old are you?

Em said 8 years, 9 months ago:

I’m 17.

rinseandrep said 8 years, 9 months ago:

I say just tell her what you told us, that there’s no hurry but you would like to get ahead and see how your body takes it. If she says no, she was going to say no anyway. I guess you can be real and tell her you will just use condoms if she says no, so this isn’t going to stop you from having sex.

By the way, speaking of condoms, the pill doesn’t protect you against STDs, maybe while you wait you can have the boyfriend take some tests so you can feel better about not using condoms.

Chris said 8 years, 9 months ago:

Like rinseandrep I would also suggest using condoms. Even the pill doesn’t offer you a 100% protection against pregnancy and none against std.

And regarding the talk, just tell her what you told us. It was enough to convince me you are responsible and mature for it and enough to have sex.

Swifting said 8 years, 9 months ago:

Unlike my male counterparts I’m going to tell you that it’s absolutely okay for you to take birth control even if you’re not sure you’re ready to have sex.

I personally hated taking a pill daily. It’s hard and taking within the same one hour window. Completely illogical and a pain in the ass.

You can’t rely on guys to bring condoms all the time and they do fail.

The morning after pill – while effective you’re only allowed to take once every six months and they’r not 100% sure on how many times in a lifetime you can take it.

Since you’re under 21 it’s not likely that they’ll be willing to give you implant (goes in your arm) or an IUD. And the shots have really spotty (no pun intended) side effects.

I’ve had an IUD and loved it. I also tried the nuva ring and liked it.

If you haven’t heard of the ring I’d look into it. Essentially soft squishy plastic you insert into your vagina. (I know it sounds gross but it’s completely safe and once you do it a few times it’s not so weird. It stays in for a full month (even through sex) and you just pull it out when you’re done with your 28 -32 days. Put in a new one a week later. You can also leave it in during sex. My partners never complained about it or even felt it. Plus unlike the pill it doesn’t mess with all of your hormones.

Now as for the issue with the mom unit – tell her. You’re 17. It’s okay to start thinking about sex and she should want you to be safe with it. But, also know that the ring and pill also aid in things like long heavy periods, cramping, and moodiness.

You need 3-4 months before having sex for the ring or pill to be fully effective. So, talking about this earlier is going to give you the best amount of time to adjust and be safe.

Your mom knows she can’t stop you from having sex forever. But, I’d introduce her before you tell her you want to have sex.

Chris said 8 years, 9 months ago:

I thing you got me wrong shifting, I never suggested not taking the pill, merely that the pill doesn’t offer you complete security as it leaves you completely vulnerable to diseases. But since condoms do break (rarely) it’s better if both are combined.

I am here to listen and to try and help. said 8 years, 9 months ago:

Hello, I would just like you to know that the pill is not 100% even when you are completely committed to it and take it everyday….I was on the pill for 3 years, got sick one time and didn’t really think….now im am 28 weeks pregnant. Luckily the father is my longtime fiancee of 4 years and have a very good relationship so there is no problem with bringing a child into the family as we were both ready. If you are going to take the pill…wear condoms too… :)

rinseandrep said 8 years, 9 months ago:

I suggested pill+condoms or pill+std test with clean result, maybe you read too fast.

Although, I get a sense that we are being too harsh about condoms, if used correctly (from start to finish, no air on the tip, no wrong lubes), the stats are good.

DinoRaptor101 said 8 years, 9 months ago:

Pardon my intrusion but circumcised boys cant feel much with condoms on them … so intemacy wont be mutual. – Based on Medical Research

Chris said 8 years, 9 months ago:

I blame the parents @Dinoraptor101, who mutilate their child’s genitals based on nonsense without their permission. Circumcision became popular based on the false theory that it cures masturbation.

This, aside the fact that circumcised men can’t feel much, does not make any difference to the fact that use of only the pill leaves her completely vulnerable to STDs