Adviser said 6 years ago:

NOt sure if this is the place for this, but I’m part of the community for years as a listener so I feel comfortable to seek here. I have a beautiful girlfriend and she wants a friend. A female friend to talk with.

Here’s why I’m looking one for her: we live a BDSM relationship, I’m a dominant, she’s a submissive/little. She has a strong anxiety and is super shy, so friends are rare, she isn’t really believing I’m looking for a friend for her. She just wants someone she can talk about and be open and have some “requirements”, I say so jokingly, just to put in the context of what she needs. As her Dom, I do anything to attain her needs. This is what she’s looking for:

-have mental issues
-Be intelligent
-be kind and needy and clingy
-Be a sub/little
-be open to sex talk
-play videogames with me
-Skype maybe
-Trade porn with me like it’s pokemon cards
-like cute stuff
-Be into videogames and anime
-Can’t be shorter than me unless v cute
-Fashion interest
-preferably a fairy or princess of some sort

If you are like this or know someone like this or have an idea where I could find one, please send me an inbox, we can talk. Thank you very much.

Swifting said 6 years ago:

I’m not entirely sure this is appropriate.

Sugar Water said 6 years ago:

I’m not sure this is appropriate either, but I would try searching through tumblr for someone like this. Especially on the porn part of tumblr, there are a lot of people that fit this description.

Deleted User said 6 years ago:

This post seems kinda inappropriate just from the fact you want someone who is female, “needy and clingy” and “has mental issues”. It just sounds like you are looking for someone quite vulnerable…im sure this isn’t the case but even so, im not sure this is the right place to be asking for that.

Deleted User said 6 years ago:

wow well unlike every1 else i find this kinda interesting s im a bit curious s wud love to be her friend but.then my personality is not at all like that so hope u find what ur looking for :)

Kim said 6 years ago:

honestly, this is disgusting.

ABrighterDay said 6 years ago:

If these request requirements are intended as jokes, they’re nothing but offensive and insulting. They make you seem like you’re not trying to help your partner, but that you’re looking for someone in an exploitable situation who you can take advantage of. I simply hope you’re unfamiliar with what makes dark humor funny, and what crosses the line, and that you’ll think harder before attempting these jokes in the future.

However, I suspect you’re serious about your request, and I have some choice words for you.

Since you say you’re in the BDSM community, you must be aware of how some people think it’s nothing but a thin veil to disguise how you either enjoy abusing others, or enjoy being abused yourself. Seeing as how you request your sub’s potential friend to have mental issues, be ‘kind, needy and clingy’ AKA a dependent doormat, and numerous other qualities that have nothing to do with friendship, but reflect your personal fetishes, you’re reinforcing negative stereotypes that surround the community.

It speaks wonders that you posted your request on a site where people often go to when feeling vulnerable. You claim to be an experienced listener, so I’m sure you’re aware of that. Isn’t it funny, a site with vulnerable, lonely, women, and you request them to skype, to share porn with you. And by funny I mean I’m blown away by how people like you will try to take advantage of others at the worst.

Maybe you’ll tell me I got it all wrong because these are HER requirements, not yours. I certainly don’t believe that you withheld your influence over what these requirements should include, especially since you’re the one who posted it, not her.

If you really want to help her, tell her to look for a therapist. A real therapist, a certified therapist she can see in person, a session she attends alone and one where you don’t demand to know all the details of what she discussed. Severe anxiety is no laughing matter, and I’m sure a therapist could help her find the friends she desires. That’s what a responsible partner would do.

Blueberry said 6 years ago:

it sounds more like youre looking for another submissive than an actual friend for your girlfriend

Deleted User said 5 years, 11 months ago:

‘Scuse me :3 As the girlfriend in question here i feel it my duty to clear things up. Believe it or not i myself am the one who made the requirement list while i was crying (i tend to get bitter and sarcastic when im in the sads). I understand that my requests seem offensive and i certainly didnt intend that, not knowing that my words would be posted. I also don’t wish for my sir’s person to be painted in a bad light, he’s certainly no predator and behaving in the manner that you appear to believe he is would make him an abuser and therefore not a true Dominant. The only reason i requested these vulnerabilities in a friend Of this nature is because im looking for someone who is very much like me, and can understand my hardships. Im looking for someone that will be a BEST friend, that i can bare my soul to. I AM in fact seeing a therapist, and honestly she isnt much help but I’m looking for a new one as soon as i move. Please don’t attack him~ He’s innocent of all accusations, honestly.

Progressing Positivity said 5 years, 11 months ago:

wow. O.O

KatieMilano said 5 years, 11 months ago:

As you’re taking that difficult job of looking for a sex friend that’ll have to answer your gf’s needs, you are to search through online dating sites in the first place. As I’ve been in BDSM world for 3 and a half yrs. now (and it gives me shivers when I see 50 shades ads on the streets,ew), the very best advice I can give you is to get help from the internet. I use to find bi girls , couples,male submissives and even groups. You just need to be polite, concise and have a sense for adequate folks. Hope you’ll find what you’re looking for. Good luck!