Nicholas said 10 years, 6 months ago:

Hey guys I just wanted to know how you have handled being put in the friendzone while she dates another guy. I have recently been put there and it sucks. I’m pretty sure she knows I still like her but yet she actually tells me stories about him which are almost painful to laugh at.

Jess said 10 years, 6 months ago:

Lol.

Corrupted2.0 said 10 years, 6 months ago:

Hate to say this but you gotta leave her,cut off all relation,hard as it is leaving her is gonna hurt ,but being around her is gonna hurt a lot more ,especially since she’s telling you stories about the new hubby.distance is the best medicine

lostaady said 9 years, 9 months ago:

The only way I could get over my best friend was to cut her off completely (something we both agreed on). A year later we finally started talking again and I found myself at peace despite what lingering feelings might be there.

OpenTalk said 9 years, 8 months ago:

Not a fan of people griping over the “friend zone.” Or the concept either.

All that’s happened is that this person doesn’t want to date you or sleep with you. That’s it. There’s no malice involved.

The problem, at least to me, with the concept of the Friend Zone is that it presumes that a sexual relationship is the primary reason to interact with women and friendship is the consolation prize, the vastly inferior substitute.

OpenTalk said 9 years, 8 months ago:

That’s a good point. Nice guys don’t get put in the friend zone. Friends do, because they’re acting friendly. Make a move fast if you’re going to make a move at all.

Deleted User said 9 years, 8 months ago:

The Friendzone isn’t real. The idea that every “Nice Guy” is owed sex or a romantic relationship by his female friends is ridiculous. And if you think that’s not what Friendzoning is about, it absolutely is. To some degree, the assumption of every guy claiming to be “friendzoned” is that if they indicate an interest in one of their friends, she is in some way obligated to return the interest, and reward it with a relationship or sex. This assumption is problematic for a whole host of reasons, but most in that it ignores choice. Everyone has the right to say “Yes” or “No” to someone’s romantic or sexual interest. There is no obligation to return interest, and if a person rejects you, it does not make them an awful person. Especially when that person is your friend. I understand that rejection sucks. It hurts and it’s shitty when someone you like, want to have a relationship with, want to have sex with, etc. doesn’t return that interest. However, no one is obligated to be interested in you or want those things with you. While sex may very well be a human need, it is not something anyone has a right to, and thus we are not “owed” it.

rinseandrep said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I don’t understand why “entitlement to sex” comes up when the friendzone is mentioned. It’s a synonym of rejection, and we don’t talk about entitlement when someone mentions rejection, we do it only when someone talks about going around the rejection, or fighting it, or any other creepy stuff.

Being nice to women just to have sex and expecting sex to happen just because you have been nice, and getting angry when sex doesn’t happen, yes, sucks as a concept, but what does that have to do with the friendzone? Yes, someone in the friendzone can do that, and do nice things hoping the person he/she wants to be in a relationship with will change idea and promote them to partner, but it doesn’t mean everybody who is sad about being friendzoned does it and needs to be scolded. Someone can be rejected and feel put in the friendzone, be sad it happened, but feeling entitled to sex/a relationship is a development that might or might not happen (or I should say, keep feeling entitled to sex/a relationship despite the rejection, since the two people might have met exactly because one of them was seeking a partner).
The concept of trying to ‘escape the friendzone’ can pose a problem, since it’s basically forcing and working your way around a “no”, but some people just stay in the ‘friendzone’ a while (specially if they can’t just cut contact with the other person and have to be around them while still feeling attracted to them) and then manage to move on, out of the friendzone. It’s hard to turn off feelings, and thus it would be good to stay apart a while before seeing if friendship is even possible.