waaaaat.. you can’t do that already?! Okay then, granted. But you accidentally tear the frenulum and bleed out…
I wish for a berry smoothie
Granted, but it was made from expired berries and you get a monstrous case of diarrhea.
I wish I had a sugar daddy XD
Granted, but he is actually made of sugar. Totally. You end up nibbling, and then more, diabetes follows with a host of other issues. You die alone in a ditch.
I wish I knew why the name game is fun for some people…
Granted but then along with that comes more knowledge about other things and now you know what emotional turmoil women go through during their time of the month.. and now you have started to PMS as well and you’re crying in a corner without any reason.
I wish I could punch someone
Sticks his chin out – give it your best shot…
I think I want to cry now… What the Hell do you want… I’m sorry… You should just go away… no, wait, come here… I am so confused… I think I want to get something pierced
I wish I was on a sailboat on a gentle sea, with a beautiful woman
Granted. But that beautiful woman turns out to be a psychotic sadistic murderer who forces you at gunpoint to put on lipstick, a blonde wig, and a bra and bikini before shooting you in the chest and throwing you overboard. Your family was left in disgrace and eventually they all committed a group suicide. In hindsight, that plain chick you ran into at the bank was probably the better pick.
I wish I was Channing Tatum.
But that WAS the lady from the bank…
Granted. But the universe got confused and you are Tatum O’Neil, 53 years old, and the youngest winner of a competitive Academy Award when you were 10. You were Michael Jackson’s first girlfriend, and had 3 kids with tennis grump John McEnroe, whom you divorced in ’94. Because of a drug problem, John ended up with custody of the kids. You were busted in 2008 for crack cocaine. You have started dating women, but confess to no particular gender at the present.
I wish I was I was scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef.
Granted, but you’re a bit of an explorer, so you go afar from your group and instructor and run out of oxygen since your tank had a leak… No one car hear you, no one can see you…. you slowly suffocate and die a painful, lonely death.
I wish I didn’t procrastinate.
I was going to reply to this sooner, but…
granted, now your schedule is so whacked out because you stay up for 36 hours straight to finish each major assignment when it is given that you have so much time to study, so you get 120% on all your essays and exams, so people think you are really smart but they don’t realize that you can’t help not doing everything, because there is always something else to start/do/finish. You end up in a closet working on your stuff… No one car hear you, no one can see you…. you slowly suffocate and die a painful, lonely death.
I wish I was finished the spaceport in Township…
Granted! But as soon as you take off, the engine fails and blows up. Not only does it kill you, but the falling shrapnel kills everyone in Township.
I wish I knew where the Fountain Of Youth was.
You do. It is in the woman’s washroom. And you can’t go there…
I wish I was in the mountains right now.
Granted. but you don’t have warm clothes and you lose your toes and more to frostbite.
I wish I could sleep. It’s almost 4am.
Granted, but then you missed talking to a friend you had been waiting for years to talk to.
I wish I was in Ireland.
Granted! But for the entirety of your visit, you have to sleep in a cold, wet cave.
I wish Kelly Clarkson would give me a private tour (no innuendo intended lol)
*private concert I mean