Robert said 6 years, 1 month ago:

I got my friend a stuffed elephant for his room. He thanked me, but I told him not to mention it.

Deleted User said 6 years, 1 month ago:

I know I posted this somewhere else but…

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.”

Watson: “I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”

Holmes: “Watson, you idiot, somebody’s stolen our tent!”

Deleted User said 6 years, 1 month ago:

Aaaand another Sherlock one!

One day, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were doing their usual investigative business, when they uncovered an unusual painting.

At first glance, it looked like a picture of normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if one looked closer, one could see that it was a remarkable painting. The tree trunk was actually made of fire, and its branches were made of ice, clouds and earth.

“What is it, Holmes?” asked Watson in awe.

“It’s an Element tree, my dear Watson,” replied Holmes.

Tinay <3 said 6 years, 1 month ago:

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Joana.
Joana who?

I Joana close my eyes. I Joana fall asleep. Cause I miss you babe and I Joana miss a thing. ~

Tinay <3 said 6 years, 1 month ago:

My friend told me that only Onions are the veggies that can make us cry.

So I threw a squash on his face.

SimplyMiMi said 6 years, 1 month ago:

Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each ‘s’

Deleted User said 5 years, 9 months ago:

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!” :)

Nesa said 5 years, 6 months ago:

Knock Knock
Who’s there?

My thoughts.
My thoughts who?

My thoughts..my knees..my shoulder..my head xD

Sandra said 5 years, 6 months ago:

yo mama so fat when she went to the shower she got brainwashed :D

Deleted User said 5 years, 4 months ago:

And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Swifting said 5 years, 4 months ago:

What did the fish say when he hit a brick wall?

Dam!

Deleted User said 5 years, 4 months ago:

Are you a lightbulb, because you light up my whole world. I think this is more of a pickup line but it makes me laugh lol.

Silent Rain said 5 years, 4 months ago:

Do you have a map? I keep getting lost into your eyes.

Aurielle said 5 years, 4 months ago:

Do you have a bandaid? Because I scraped my knee when I fell for you

Hands down my favorite cheesy pick-up line

Deleted User said 5 years, 4 months ago:

@toxicmelody Is your name Aurielle? Because I think we mermaid for eachother.