I got my friend a stuffed elephant for his room. He thanked me, but I told him not to mention it.
I know I posted this somewhere else but…
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.”
Watson: “I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
Holmes: “Watson, you idiot, somebody’s stolen our tent!”
Aaaand another Sherlock one!
One day, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were doing their usual investigative business, when they uncovered an unusual painting.
At first glance, it looked like a picture of normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if one looked closer, one could see that it was a remarkable painting. The tree trunk was actually made of fire, and its branches were made of ice, clouds and earth.
“What is it, Holmes?” asked Watson in awe.
“It’s an Element tree, my dear Watson,” replied Holmes.
I Joana close my eyes. I Joana fall asleep. Cause I miss you babe and I Joana miss a thing. ~
My friend told me that only Onions are the veggies that can make us cry.
So I threw a squash on his face.
Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”
My thoughts who?
My thoughts..my knees..my shoulder..my head xD
yo mama so fat when she went to the shower she got brainwashed
And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
What did the fish say when he hit a brick wall?
Are you a lightbulb, because you light up my whole world. I think this is more of a pickup line but it makes me laugh lol.
Do you have a map? I keep getting lost into your eyes.
Do you have a bandaid? Because I scraped my knee when I fell for you
Hands down my favorite cheesy pick-up line
@toxicmelody Is your name Aurielle? Because I think we mermaid for eachother.