Ayana said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I’d walk around the woods at night, as winter settles in. Icicles hang from thin, scrawny branches, and sparkling sunlight glistens on the snow. Different birds sing to me the song of morning’s wake, and I close my eyes as my friends create their melody. Walking further in my new snow boots, I come across a stray cat. Its fur is as bright as the winter snow, and its eyes blue as the ocean. I call to it and it pitters over to me quickly. I look for a nametag, but there isn’t one to be found.

“Come along,” I say. “You can come with me.”

And so my friend and I walked the distance home. Crunching through dead leaves and kicking by some rocks, my friend and I made it home in time for dinner.

I introduced my friend to my mother and she fed the old cat some milk and cat chow we had in the pantry. I sat by the fireplace and stared into the flames. Bright and flickering. So full of life and color. I thought of how much fire provided us with. Warmth and comfort. And I realized how alike the fire and I were. How alike the fire and people are.

We give warmth and comfort to friends and family, and somehow, we feel so full of life and color when doing it. We are burning flames in the bitter cold of winter. The light that guides and the flame that warms.

Tess226 said 7 years, 11 months ago:

it starts out descriptive and inviting, then it tends to be one step after another. also, you start with the “i pronoun” and end in the “we.” Keep it consistent for the reader. There is real potential here.