skylar the ghost said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Hey guys c: I just recently finished a story of mine. If you don’t mind take a look ^.^ Thanks!!

(Link to story): http://www.quotev.com/story/4828441/Senior-Prank/

Deleted User said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Oh boy…
Well, to say that your style and grammar need work would be an understatement: for example, you abuse the phrase ‘I felt myself’ like crazy, it almost drove me nuts!

That said, I like the subject you approach here, which since Columbine has become, sadly, more and more common, not only in USA but abroad too. I think it’s good that you tackle such an uncomfortable theme.

I like how in the end you are trying to explain to the reader the mindset of Jacob, look into his psyche through his writings.

But good god, man, this was painful to read through! I mean, if English is not your first language, this was a good exercise in English, but there’s lots of work to be done here.

You’re obviously very talented, if you put effort into it, I think you can get a lot better.

skylar the ghost said 9 years, 6 months ago:

I started writing this a while ago when I wasn’t so great with my grammar & punctuation /: I also write so fast at times that I look past mistakes, tbh cx Thank you so much for the feedback though!! Didn’t think anyone would comment back!! c:

Deleted User said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Well, I’ve seen you have put a lot of work in it, I couldn’t just dismiss this. I mean, you’ve put a lot of effort into your story, one can’t just dismiss so much creative power poured into something just because of bad grammar – excuse my bluntness. And in the end, I think I liked looking for that meaning past the facade, past the surface. So maybe that’s even unique for your story. I think that if you give it a good re-read, maybe fix all the typos and the style at large, it can be a great story about a very topical subject, told from a viewpoint of a student.

skylar the ghost said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Thank you so much!! I’ll definitely do this when I get the chance to c: