jelly said 10 years, 5 months ago:

Thanks for getting the ball rolling!

I’m glad you and your brother are close enough to talk about sexuality (I shudder at the thought of even mentioning it with friends, let alone family!) and how it impacts you and just the topic in general.

In terms of myself, it didn’t take long for me to clue in to the fact that I’m not a sexual person by nature, and that my hormones should have kicked in to the point where I want to go date, and fool around and such. I’d always thought I liked girls (boys never crossed my mind) but then realized that no, not really the case either, and that I couldn’t feel an attraction to anyone. I realized that I’d never crushed on anybody, even at a younger age, and that I wasn’t really interested in swapping bodily fluids.

In terms of family members, when I “came out” as gay, my family didn’t really care. I haven’t come out any other way yet, ’cause really, I don’t much care for labels like I used to, and I don’t really feel as though it’s that big of my life anyway. I generally tell people I don’t know well that I don’t date, and try to leave it at that. Or that I’m just not ready for a relationship right now. Stuff like that. I imagine if I told my family, it wouldn’t be much of a big deal (it really isn’t, anyway) and that they would be comfortable with it. Not like it’s a choice, anyway. I think that’s a common misconception.

The reason why I wouldn’t classify myself as asexual is that I firmly believe that I need to be very close with someone to experience anything (romantic, sensual, sexual, ect, ect) “deeper” than friendship with them. There has to be this … something there. Not sure how to explain it, but I do believe I have the capacity, which is why I classify myself as “grey-a” or “demisexual” though I’m not sure if those labels are entirely accurate.

Sorry for the long reply! We should totally have an “ace moment” thread – saw one on AVEN, and thought it was funny.