Younger guy?

I live abroad at the moment in an Asian country. I met this guy about 4 months ago. We see each other at least once a week at church, and hang out in a group for dinner and a movie usually. He’s a native, so he’s been helping with translation and keeping me from getting lost, though he’s done the translating for others. I get this feeling that he seems to get physically closer to me than necessary. I’ve never really seen him get that close to the other girl we regular spend time with, though he doesn’t do it very often.

I’ve also been talking to him here and there through text, though you can’t really know someone through that. I know I’ve gotten my heart broken by a guy I mostly talked to through IM, so I’m trying not to repeat the past here.

I also don’t want to scare him off. He’s younger than me by 4 years. I don’t want to seem like that clingy, older girl. Especially if his interest is all in my head.

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Mthyme

4 Answers

Take things slow. To me it seems like he might like you. If he doesn't really hang with other girls that could mean he might like you, but also he might be shy of other girls. 4 years isn't that huge of deal, at least I think. Just keep being yourself, and take it slow. If he shows more interest in you that will be a great sign. But again take it slow. You can sometimes figure out if he likes you through his actions. I wish you the best of luck! (Love Asia!)

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Amy

be cautious of your own feelings and his. remember the fact that he is 4 years less mature than you, but don't let the age gap stop. So I would advise to go with the flow and see what happens. Maybe reach out to him with some flirty comments and see his reaction. Good luck with all of it! If you need anyone just message me! (:

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meg(:

Just take things slow. Go with the flow and when you think the right moment comes alone then ask him. 4 Year difference its nothing. But most likely he will tell you that he likes you, just give him some hints like smile at him a lot.

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unknownn

Also keep in mind that personal space rules are not the same everywhere in the world.

I'll use two similar countries as an example: The US and the UK, they are reasonably similar in language, dress, etc, yes? So it would stand to reason that social interaction is more or less the same?

Not really: in the US, personal space is considered two to three feet (1m)! In the UK, personal space is about half that. People stand closer together to talk in the UK than in the US.

Two more examples: when dining in while in the US, when we select a booth, it is considered that that table is ours for the duration of our visit. Nobody will just walk up and sit in "your" booth. In the UK, it is not uncommon for strangers to share a booth and still have separate service. Were a stranger to occupy your booth with you in the US uninvited, it would be considered rude.

Final example: remember any movie you have ever watched. Notice the extras and how they stand close together? Movie directors are all the time telling extras to stand closer together when they are from the US, because American personal space is astronomical.

It is most likely a cultural difference and he likely means nothing by it. If you are enchanted with him, then by all means get him to teach you how to flirt in his language, he'll get the picture. But unless he is giving you more social cues besides standing close, don't stress yourself over it. :)

If you have anything further to discuss, my inbox is always open.

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Humanist Hope

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