I started writing and I get really nervous having people I know reading my stuff, I posted it in the group “Writers” and “Aspirating Writers”. The story is call “The Monster Inside” If some of you could read the first two chapters I posted and give me tips it would really help a lot!
I read the first chapter that you posted. I think it's good! You're writing style is interesting, inspiring and unique. I love the attention to detail! The only negative feedback I have to give you is that there are a few grammatical errors and just generally some sentences that could be switched about slightly, but it's a really good start and you should be proud of it :) Maybe ask your English teacher to go through it with you and just help you polish it? (If you're still at school). If not, I'd be happy to edit it for you - just message me!