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Will I survive this?


I have struggled with my father being clinically insane my whole life. He is a paranoid schizophrenic, bipolar, and had severe depression. He has been in and out of mental institutions my whole life.

On Sunday he called me saying that he is going to leave my mother (the only thing that holds him back from suicide) to travel the world, homeless, like he did before he met my mother. He was living in shelters and doing heroine and drinking himself to death before he met her, sobered up, and had a family. Ive walked in on him attempting suicide a handful of times as a kid, but was always able to talk him down…

Well, he didnt just call me on Sunday. He called every family member he has and attempted to make amends and told everyonehe loves them. At this point nothing works and nothing has helped him through his pain. I have zero control over him and he feels my mother is safe and stable where she is… Im afraid this is it. This is when I lose my father to suicide. And I cant stop him anymore.

I am so broken. I am so close to him, I love him more than anything in this world and I know this will be what finally breaks me as well. Please… someone help me. What do I do from here? How do I cope? Is there any last ditch effort I can make besides guilt or institutions to help my family?

Category: Tags: asked July 20, 2015