Will I ever find someone?


Hi. Im already 18, still virgin, never even kissed. Around friends I joke around that I’m gonna be alone forever and who would even want me. But I’m truly scared that I’m not normal. All my friends are attractive and funny, sociable, they are always someones crush. And I know they wouldnt understand me. Im not like them, im redhead and have overwight. suprised i have even friends. I never “needed” people or attention from boys, but im scared that im unattractive on the most basic level. like im discusting etc

Category: Tags: asked May 14, 2014

9 Answers

I had not really any experience with relationship, or kissing or anything sexual until I was 18 too. I always told myself I was not pretty enough, or smart enough or funny enough or not slim enough. So that is why no one was ever interested in me. I always got on with boys and has some male friends, but when I came to whether they liked me, I was always seen as a sister. They never saw me sexually or romantically. I thought they was something wrong with me as all my friends had lots of boyfriends and I felt like all the boys I liked wanted them. I didn't need a boyfriend and I never though my life was missing a boyfriend but I always wondered why (when it seem like everyone else had one) I didn't have one. Now people use to tell me to wait and that the right one would come along and he did. I lost my virginity at 19, and he was also my first everything and I love him. The only advice I can give is something everyone will tell you. Wait. The right person will come along and they won't care what you look like or that you are a virgin. I truly thought I was not normal, but the way I see it now, I was just a late bloomer. Maybe you are too. In the meantime, enjoy spending time with your friends and don't think yourself as weird because you are not. Having a relationship is not anything. But actually loving and enjoying your own company is.
You are normal and it is fine.. There's not an age limit, it's not a race, don't worry too much about this. You'll find someone who will see all the good things about you. Also, you're really cute x)
You have to love yourself for who you are, and the right person will come and love you just as much. If you aren't happy with yourself, you can change yourself in a healthy way of course, for example you commented on your weight. If you want to lose weight, talk to a doctor or a trusted adult about changing your diet and exercise. If you are happy with yourself, then of course stay that way and the right person will come your way and be happy with you, too! You're not disgusting, that's for sure. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I understand body image issues and being unsure if someone will ever want you. I'm also here if you just need someone to talk to you about your day. Wishing you the best.
Don't get down on yourself. You're only 18, you have plenty of time to find "the one" that you're looking for. It's perfectly normal. In fact, the way that I see it, would you really want to lose your virginity to someone who wasn't truly special to you? I'm not saying to wait until marriage or anything like that, but being a virgin at 18 isn't out of the ordinary at all. Don't feel pressured into doing something just because other people around you might be doing it.
And for the record, I promise that you aren't disgusting or unattractive at all. You're just fine the way that you are, and don't let anyone else tell you or make you feel any differently.
When I was little my mother always told us there is someone out there for everyone. Sometimes things don't happen right away for a lot of us and you know what, that's okay! Just because it doesn't happen when you're younger doesn't mean it will never happen. Also don't rush into losing your virginity. Make sure that's special:) I believe you'll be just fine in life. You're beautiful and you'll go so far! Cheer up!
I get really lonely sometimes and think similar thoughts about how all of my friends are dating/married etc.. Some in my family tell me all the time how fantastic I am at socializing and my sisters tell me I'm cute. Haha, I'm 24 and I'm in the same boat as you, as far as never having dated, kissed, and I shut my eyes and cover them and repeat my mantra "if i close my eyes she can't see me!" when a girl is around. I've been ON dates, I've pursued relationships before. I think that if you really look, everyone is ugly in some way it's really easy to find flaws in people, especially yourself! Finding the good in others is another story. The physical is the very least kind of ugly someone can be (in my opinion), and that's if you insist on there actually being a type of physical ugly, are we not just comparing two different things (two different people perhaps?) that can't be compared at all? People are attracted to other people by way of chemical reaction, that chemical reaction is subconscious and can easily override what we truly think makes someone attractive if we let it (namely the meaningful stuff, not the superficial stuff, the kind of stuff that creates and builds long lasting relationships). On an early morning paper route my brother and I were doing I was afraid to deliver to this house that was dark and had a chained up dog in the yard (and it was 4am). He did it for me and just walked up to the doorstep, set the paper down and came back, I asked him "How can you do that and not be afraid at all?" he replied to the effect of "When I'm afraid of something, I focus on what I can do to prepare for it, there's nothing more I can do". My strategy is to try to make myself as much like the kind of person I would like to be close to. I'm obviously very flawed and I contradict my own advice all the time, I will always be a little insecure, but someday I have a hope that I will find someone who will be everything I want, because even if they aren't what I thought I wanted, I don't think I know what I want anyways. You can have hope too, because the timing may not be directly under your control, and other people certainly aren't. But you are in control of you, if there's something you don't like about yourself you can change it, just don't confuse that with what you think others think about you. I agree with the comments others have made here as well.
think it this way : is that the only thing you live for?..come one there are so many other things to do on this earth...i'm 20 year virgin..i don't need anyone else to make me happy
I didn't lose my virginity until I was almost 19. I wasn't ready and I was really drunk at the time too and I regretted it so much that I didn't have sex again until I was 20. There's no pre-determined time when you should be having sex. Don't complain about your red hair. Every single guy I know always talks about how red hair is the hottest thing on the planet. In your picture you look like a really sweet girl (I actually think we look quite similar) and have a really cute face. You will find as you get older and meet more mature guys that dating gets easier (at least this is what I've found). When I was your age, most of the guys I knew were still children basically - or at least they acted like it. Try to relax about it, your time will come! :)
Don't worry about being a virgin at 18. I lost my virginity at 19 and I still didn't feel adequately prepared for it, to be quite honest. Don't worry about your looks, everyone is beautiful to someone.And for what it's worth, I think you're really pretty.