Hello Miss Rae, thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
Life is never easy, nor is it always fair. Sometimes things simply go bad, and we react badly to bad situations in an attempt to protect ourselves, but we all learn eventually that sometimes the greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
As the posters before me have stated, cutting provides a temporary relief from emotional distress because the act of cutting releases adrenaline and endorphins to numb the pain as your body sets to healing the damage. Most cutters do so because they feel like it is the only control they have over their own lives or their own bodies; it is an attempt at consoling themselves.
So, that is WHY cutting appears to help.
Now, onto why cutting is bad:
Cutting carries an extra possibility of addiction, and what happens if you cut yourself when you are in a particularly distressed state? You could permanently damage yourself, produce an infection and even die from one or the other. You are placing your health and life in the steadiness of your hands when you are in an emotionally compromised state.
Literally any emotion or emotional reaction carries the possibility of addiction, because the only pre-requisite to addiction is an addictive personality. (Note: some substances such as drugs are addictive because they do not simply produce a reaction, they literally alter brain chemistry, adding greatly to their addictive properties) Addiction is an unhealthy over-reaction to a particular stimuli that the individual considers pleasant.
You said you do not believe that you are addicted, but there are a few red flags to identify addiction, please Bookmark this page for your reference: http://mountainvistafarm.com/help-now/red-flags/
If you still do not feel that you are addicted, then please feel free to message me privately and I would be more than happy to help you try and understand your situation.
Please keep in contact and let us know how you're doing. If you feel you might hurt yourself or someone else, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, their lines are open 24 hours a day.
Always remember that you matter, and you are not alone.