Why is it so hard to socialize?

2

I know I have social anxiety but why? I am literally not afraid to do stupid things that can get me killed. But talking to someone, oh no. I don’t know how to approach people, and when I do or can I don’t know what to say. Nothing comes natural to me.

Category: asked November 9, 2014

4 Answers

0
As a person that could always talk to people, I suppose I can't say much from your point of view.. But I think it's just because you're not used to talking to people. Your body might feel differently about it than you yourself will. Honestly, I was always bad at talking to people until- this might sound odd but- I started majoring in English, which helped me put together my words properally. (Yet, I still don't speak as well to people in voice, but it's decent enough..) Personally, I still don't know what to do, how to approach, or what to say. I wait for people to approach me, instead. If they start something, I'll continue it. I don't enjoy doing it any other way, because I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing. But again, I think the not being able to talk to people is your social anxiety, or you just not being used to it at all. You should find someone who's close to you and talk to them, or anyone. Just get the hang of talking and all, I think that's a good first step for you to do.
0
Talk like you would talk to yourself. If they think it is funny, then great, if not, then their loss.
0
I'm kind of with you on this point. You would think by my age I would have figured it out (I'm 24), but I have a hard time actually making friends. I'm completely find in most social settings with talking to people but actually making a connection and having someone be interested in me as a friend is much more difficult for meWorking off of what an earlier user said, (about the English class) a good tip would be to find a community that focuses on a topic that you are familiar with or interested in. Sports, music, video games, camping, hiking, etc. Find a hobby or a passion that you enjoy and then start seeking out group activities that focus on those hobbies where you can get together with other people.And I hope everyone can please understand where I'm coming from with this next section and take what I say literally, word for word and please don't read between the lines or try to suggest that I'm implying something harmful. But drinks are a great way to loosen up even the most reclusive people (if you're of age, I will not suggest underage drinking.) If you manage to get into an organized social setting, get a buzz going. Don't get wasted, but get enough of a buzz to loosen up a bit and chitchat with people. If what your slightly buzzed personality seems to be something that people enjoy and you find yourself interacting better, take cues from that and attempt those same methods while sober. This is absolutely NOT advice to get drunk in order to be interesting. If you have no choice but to drink in order to interact with people that is NOT healthy. But if getting buzzed gives you an idea of how your more social self would act, use it as a cheat sheet of sorts to play off of in other situations.
0
Yeah i struggled with this a lot early on in high school. I really wasn't sure of myself, and talking to new people i just didn't get. I really didn't feel like i had anything to talk to them about. In a group setting personally i find things easier even today. I found there were 2 things that helped me overcome it. Firstly I just faked confidence. It sounds stupid but it really worked, just by acting confident people seemed to mostly be more welcoming and i felt a lot more open and secure. 2ndly i started doing some drama/acting which is something that i'd always wanted to try but was too scared to. When you're making a fool of yourself in front of people everyday deliberately, you suddenly become a lot more comfortable acting "normal" and being sociable in casual situations. Granted this may not be something you're interested in but i would recommend it something that everyone try at least once. Doing any form of arts class helps being more comfortable expressing yourself as well i thought. Also hanging out with people you're more comfortable with rather than taking a risk on newbies is good practice. This is just stuff that helped me personally, whether or not it will help you i can't guarantee, but speaking from experience it's the best i got.