why is being nice bad?

I get that a lot too. As long as you're taking care of yourself, there's nothing wrong with being polite, helpful, and overall nice. I've found that some people don't understand it, though. They think that you're being fake or that you want something.

I'd say, keep it up! For every one person that says "you're too nice!", you've probably brightened 20 people's days. And for a few people it'll be a turn-off, but you don't want a friend or SO that expects you to be rude anyway. Just- don't feel like you need to take on extra work just to make a group happy. You're a member of the group too, and if they're goofing off, it's not your responsibility to always pick up the slack.

It's okay to be nice and polite and i see ppl have given some pretty good answers.

But like Veronica Roth said "...Politeness is deception in pretty packaging" Like you are nice for the sake of being not rude. That's when it is a turn off. Like you wont speak your mind just to seem nice and polite. People want others to be just themselves when talking. To have a honest, not-a-keeping-your-thoughts-to-yourself convo.
I think thats why ppl think someone's being fake by being "too nice"
Im NOT saying you shouldnt be nice or polite. Im just explaining why ppl take it as a sign of .. well being fake. Hope i helped

In a relationship sense being nice is "bad" because we were always taught that the little boy or little girl was being mean because they liked us. But, in all reality being nice is a very good thing. In this day and age there are not many nice people. So keep at it and anyone who tells you to stop is a jerk and you should not listen to them.

I wonder if I could get more information on this one? It seems unnatural for anyone to think that being too nice and polite is a bad thing, unless you live in an ultra-fascist area or something. I doubt that is the case. The only case where I can think where I despised a nice person was because they were too sweet. Everything they said was sugarcoated and quite condescending. She is still one of the nicest people I know, but the truth is, she makes a lot of excuses for inexcusable things which is just so annoying. I personally believe she is incredibly out of touch with reality. She has such an optimistic point of view on the world that she believes that everything will somehow "come right" without any involvement on her part. She also tends to shut off from all the negative things happening in the world because she can't comprehend some of the horrible things that people do.
I would hate to make that assumption for you. Just giving you an example in my own life where I have despised someone who was "too nice". I wouldn't say that it's the fact that you are too nice that bothers them, but maybe what you do with your kindness. Are you too pushy about it, for example? Do you shut yourself off from the rest of the world because you're too nice to believe any wrongdoing of another person? I think if you want answers, looking at the people around you will provide them. It doesn't mean you have to change who you are. But it might give you some perspective if you quickly jumped into their shoes, or better yet, ask them what their problem is.

As a slight clarification of what I do on a daily basis, I hold the door open for people at a redturant, I offer to carry peoples bags for them, I rearrange my schedule to help out friends, I work in customer service so I smile a lot, I offer to help people if I see them angry/sad. I was raised to never fight unless you are doing it in defense so I take insukts if they are thrown my way, without retorting rude remarks back. I do volunteer work at my old school. I try to do what other people want to do because I don't really care what we do as long as its fun and group activity. I tend to pick up extra work without complaining( outloud anyways) etc.

Often like many other things, annoyance and other emotions stem from within. While it's impossible to pin point exactly why they feel what they do, one explanation could be envy. Of you, the person you are and the things that you do, many things which perhaps you don't think twice about. Perhaps because they wish to be better people themselves.

Being nice or humanitarian is never a bad thing. Don't let people stop you from doing what you want, or let their feelings doubt yourself.

you sound like a really nice person! don't feel pressured to not be, being nice is a really good thing and you shouldn't feel bad about it!! and i completely agree with madeleine, i think they just wish to be better people and maybe envy you a bit :^)

Tina Fey had this bit, where she said that 'Bitches get stuff done'. If you feel that sometimes you are too nice to achieve something rightful (classic example, a coworker chronically slacking off and, rather than confronting them, you pick up his workload), you can explore that.
All the polite stuff you do and volunteering seem fine, as long as you don't put aside personal goals as soon as someone else's goals need you, and as long as you don't resent giving what you give later.
I think you should ask the people who tell you this what do they mean too. Do they think you are exploited by someone? Are they just afraid that when it's time to do something that is not nice, like fighting for your rights, you won't be able to do it? It might help you understand if there's something to it or it's just, invalidation.

Because.....ITS NOT!!!
Nowadays niceness and politeness have become so rare....that ppl mistake it for flirting or a weakness..... Doesn't mean you have to stop being nice or polite, just be you :D

I think the reason why people say 'niceness' is a turn off is because they make no distinction between genuinely nice people and 'nice guys'. And yes, there is a major difference. With people who are genuinely nice, there is nothing wrong with that, and it is not a turn-off. The problem is, there's a lot of self-professed 'nice guys' out there - I'm talking the guys who act friendly towards a girl solely for the purpose of eventually getting in her pants. They're usually the ones who go on and on about being 'friendzoned'. They see a girl that they're attracted to and want to date and act nice to her to try and eventually wind up on a date/in her pants. Those on the receiving end of these 'nice guys' affections tend to wind up very confused. Mainly because usually their romantic intentions are not made clear from the beginning - literally, they are being treated like a friend, so they believe that person is their friend and think of them that way, and then out of nowhere it turns out that the only reason these people were acting friendly was because they wanted reciprocation of feelings they never gave any indication they had. When they are informed that they are only seen as friends (because that's the kind of relationship they've been building) they tend to get angry and say things like 'nice guys finish last' or 'friendzoned again' and generally seem to think that treating someone like a decent human being entitles them to reciprocated romantic feelings/sex. This is where I think you get a lot of people who say 'niceness' is a turn-off and I think it puts a lot of girls on edge, too, at the disadvantage of genuinely nice people. Unfortunately, its really difficult to tell if someone's just genuinely being nice because they're nice, or if they're another self-professed 'nice guy' who's just treating them nicely for the sole purpose of getting with them later. There's no real way to know which variety of nice you're getting unless you're willing to take the risk and keep in contact with the person long-term. Certainly being nice and polite is not a bad thing on its own. But its important to be aware that there are a lot of manipulative people claiming to be 'nice' out there and that can cause some immediate caution or avoidance, and also that some people may be uncomfortable with certain traditionally 'polite' behaviours and that someone may not be put off by politeness in general but may be a little uncomfortable with certain behaviours.