Why does my husband just walk away from me when I am talking?

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I feel like I am not here. My feelings are so hurt from his actions. I just brought that up something that happened over the weekend that has left me with a pit in my stomach for days and he gave me a frustrated look and just walked away. After a shower and getting ready to take our youngest to practice he just walked out the door with a cheerful “Okay, we”ll see you in a bit.”

Category: Tags: asked September 4, 2013

5 Answers

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He could be depressed and aware of it but unable to stop how he feels. This is probably why he's more interested in venting to you about his issues than having to hear about any of yours. Has he been exhibiting any of these traits?:

What are the symptoms of depression?
Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
Fatigue and decreased energy
Feelings of sadness or unhappiness
Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
Loss of interest or pleasure in normal
Feeling hopeless, irritable, anxious, or guilty
Loss of interest in favorite activities

I think at this point if you realize that something is definitely wrong, (obviously he hasn't always been this way) to the point that even his buddies worry, then you shouldn't beating yourself up about it as though you are a victim. He's having issues that's making him act this way, this your time to really shine as his wife and stick by him during this difficult time. Consider speaking with a couples therapist available on this site. therapists online Maybe they can give you more insight as to what is going on. It's only $25 bucks for about a 10-15 minute session. It's best to at least know whats going on through a professional than wondering and crying to yourself.
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Okay, so there are a few things that are red flags here. What do you know about the sudden weight loss? What this intentional or is this a health related thing. IF it was intentional, and if he has started treating you differently, and not talking to you then you might want to ask yourself, if there are other changes in your relationship that could possibly speak to an affair. Is there another woman who he has been talking to more so lately then before, or talking about, or NOT talking about. Does he hide his phone from you, does he take his calls away from you where you can't tell who he is talking to? If not, then let's move on to other possibilities.If the weight loss is a health related thing, it could be he is afraid he might be very ill and doesn't want to talk about it because he's in denial.If you aren't worried about an affair, and if you aren't worried about his health, then I suggest you guys go to a marriage counselor for a couple sessions just to work on communication. My husband and I took an 8 week class on communication. It sucked to do it, we both hated going but it did help us when we hit a rough patch like you guys are doing.consider, possibly asking him to sit him down and calmly, without guilting him, with out crying or yelling or any drama, and ask him if there is something you should know. What is going on in his life that he has suddenly started avoiding talking to you? Because he's afraid to tell you something. And if you can't get it out of him, tell him his behavior concerns you, and makes you feel hurt, and you hope he wants to save the marriage as much as you do. If he seems open, suggest couples counseling.If you genuinely have concerns that he doesn't want to be married anymore, you will have a better idea from his reaction as to where you stand.consider doing this on a day/eveing you feel like you look pretty. Go get your hair done, do your make up, dress nice that day, it will help with your confidence and in making him realize what he is possibly losing. After the kids have eaten and have gone to bed, tell him you need to talk talk to him for just a minute and ask him to sit down (if you aren't crying or yelling, he's less likely to jump up and leave the room if you get him to sit down). Keep it short, to the point, and then YOU walk out of the room. Leave him with something to think about.It's probably nothing. Men hate talking about their feelings, so keep it short and simple. Good luck. IM me if you ever want to talk.
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Talk to him about it. Maybe something happened at work. If he doesn't listen to you, try getting one of his mates to help you. Hope that helps:)
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Thanks :) his buddies worry about him too, mostly his weight loss. Some of his behavior is very much like a mid life crisis. I have asked him why he walks away. It is weird. He just says "I am sorry." And he never addresses the question. Maybe I am just here for kids and laundry and he can't be bothered because he doesn't care. That is what I think. The middle of the end perhaps. Leaves me feeling pretty pathetic. Tonight he did it and I just went in the other room and cried. He called me a short time after to tell me about a conversation he had with someone and got irritated at my lack of enthusiasm. I just don't understand.
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Thanks for the replies. The weight loss is from running. He started running again but this time he ran every day and for twice as long. He eats very little these days and he is so thin his face looks hollow and his arms are so skinny, he just doesn't look well. I have done a lot of reading about how thinking is affected by this kind of weight loss and it is pretty consistent. Everyone who see him after a time guffaws a bit. He drinks heavily when he drinks too and he weighs so much less but drinks twice as much. He can't remember things he does so there is a trust factor there. A lot of our problems come from his drinking, he is very mean. He has done and said a lot of mean things while drinking and it's all over for him the next day but not so much for me. I can't detail what things have happened because if anyone I know happens upon this they will know who we are. I make jokes out of all the things that happen and play them off like they are good times (to outsiders), but they aren't.I don't think he is cheating but I can see how it could happen. He gets really chummy after a couple. To the point of ignoring me and carrying on with other ladies. But he just blows of my hurt feelings and concerns. He does not hide his phone or anything like that. If it were an affair situation he would have to be really good at hiding it.He is very frustrated and forgetful but he has always been like that. He has never been so great to me but it is just really in thrown in my face now, for a little over a year now. The part that makes me so sad is the kids. I don't want them to be from a broken home but I also don't want them to think this is normally how one should be treated or how to treat someone. I also don't want to feel so pathetic.I have asked him what is going on, and I used those exact words... "is there something I should know?" I have had the sit down too. I have reacted with every emotion in the book, unintentionally. Sometimes you can't help high or low emotions. He literally walks away. Or answers the phone. Or something. I think you are right, it seems like counseling is the last option. Truth is I am scared to suggest counseling. I am scared of all the potential reactions. And I am scared because everyone we know who was in counseling never made it to a happy ending. Perhaps I will wait until I have the confidence in my corner because a good hair day never hurt anyone.Thanks everyone for the input. It did help me put a few things into perspective.