is there something wrong with me?

I did try to vent about this but no one seemed to know what to say or advise and others didn’t want to even help, so i thought i’d ask on here instead. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years now… I love him to bits and we get along really well… we never argue in fact. But everything he does at the moment pisses me off… he could do something or ask me something or even just call and for some reason I will get really angry. I will admit there are times that he can be really clingy, he likes to have everyones attention always on him which I think is because his parents baby him so much and I tend to end up feeling like “mom” in a way. but im almost feeling fed up with the relationship. theres not a lot of passion there anymore and he seems to be more in love than I am. Hes supportive but in the same time hes not… earlier today I told him that my grandad (who has terminal lung cancer) had come down with a chest infection… and all he could say was “aww he’ll get better soon” and it just really wound me up. sometimes my friend says that her and her boyfriend argue and I think shes lucky in a way because at least they’re communicating in some way or another, when I try and communicate with mt boyfriend he just becomes so absent… he says sorry and then acts like thats going to change everything and help make it better. Sometimes I think he just says it to stop me from trying to talk about stuff.
I dont want to break up with him because we are good together and I do love him. I know I need to talk to him about it, but because I don’t understand why im feeling like this myself, its making it harder to know what to say… just wanted to know if anyone else has felt this way before? Or had the same issues?

(Sorry if the spelling is bad, typed it out on my phone)

Category: Dating & Relationships Tags: depression frustrated i dont know whats wrong with me issues relationships asked March 17, 2015

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adviceguru

3 Answers

You're not different or strange. You can love someone and still be totally annoyed by everything that comes out of their mouth! My friend and his girlfriend fight constantly but they love each other.Unfortunately, most guys don't know what to say to things like that. Chest infections and terminal lung cancer are pretty serious too, it's not easy to think of something on the spot. If more attention is what you're looking for, I'd suggest you tell him that you feel as though he's lacking in that area. I'm sure you probably have hinted at times, but most men really need it all mapped out.(Also, a good way to solve a problem is basing it off whether or not it'll bother you in a month,week,day or even two hours) Getting mad and worrying is pointless, just try your best to remain calm and think of what good your current mood is doing for you.

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Brian

Communication is super important in relationships. They way couples communicate and solve problems between on another is the key to any relationship. If you feel like he is purposely blowing you off because he just wants to ignore the issue, then you do not need a person like that. I know it's tough to look past despite everything you have done together, but things won't work out later in life when it turns into bigger issues, you know? Try couples counseling if you feel like it's getting worse. Good luck to you

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Destinee

Hi! I know how you feel because I feel a similar way when it comes to my parents. First of all, other people can't fix these difficult situations for you, so sometimes he might feel at a loss as to what to say to you because he doesn't have actual control over the situation and can't solve these problems. When he says "sorry" it's frustrating because you want more than a sorry, but he probably feels like he can't really change anything and he doesn't really know how to respond. For me when my parents do this, I find myself wanting (not a solution to my problem, but) more empathy or understanding from them. creating a bridge between ourselves and others is very helpful when talking about difficult situations. I think it's hard for people like me and you because when we actually need to be supported by others, others don't really like doing that because we establish ourselves as other peoples sources of emotional stability, and others have a hard time seeing us as being vulnerable. I think you need to ask your boyfriend for a little bit more understanding. Even if he was never close with his grandmother, it would be nice if he was a bit more realistic and realized how severe her condition is and put a little more effort into talking about it with you.

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MLE

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