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Why do we depend on others for our happiness?

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I used to be that girl that didn’t care about boys and relationships, but ever since my last relationship I’ve changed. I feel like I need someone to be happy and it sucks. I don’t want to be that kind of person, but it sucks not having someone to talk to about anything and everything, spend time and be affectionate with. It sucks starting over, letting someone in and opening up to that person like no other and when they’re gone and it’s over, all you are left with are the memories. I’ve been talking to someone, but he doesn’t have a care in the world and especially about me. I don’t even know why I’m putting so much time and energy into something that will never work out. I guess I just want someone to care about me.

Category: asked October 14, 2014
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Avatar of Diana
Diana
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3 Answers

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its ok to want someone to care about you. if its not working out with this person then maybe its time to move on. You dont need to immediately find someone else but when you do it will be good.
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scotlandbuddy
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It's ok, I always thought that I NEED to depend on someone in order to feel happy, turns out no one was really there when I needed it the most, so I thought why not approach my best friend and my sister to talk to them about serious matters and what not, I felt happy but that went away for a while, depending on people to make me feel happy did not work anymore. I decided one day that I should just deal with it on my own, and be happy whenever I can or somehow with/without anyone, although it might take a while; Still, that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk or trust anyone at all, you will eventually meet amazing people to depend on for sometime
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infinitekats
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To answer your question directly, we try so hard to rely on other people to make us happy because we are often too insecure to admit that we can rely on ourselves for the same.

We often have very little faith in our own ability to make ourselves happy, the idea scares us, but we know that sometimes when we are around the "right" people, we feel great; we feel happy, we feel energized and engaged. In the end, we feel insecure because of fear.

If you would like to discuss this further, my inbox is always open.
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Humanist Hope
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