Why do people like this make me feel uncomfortable/mistrustful?
I’m quiet and shy and I’m more of the type of person who is very choosy about who I am friends with. I have two friends that I rely on and communicate with. However, there’s this guy in some of my classes who talks and is friendly with literally everyone. He’ll talk or engage with anyone weather they are quiet or not. This isn’t actually a bad quality at all but when he tried to talk to me it made me feel actually kind of uncomfortable and confused/upset. For me, when someone talks to other people like that it just makes them seem kind of fake and unconcerned about others, which is really weird considering he’s such a friendly person. I guess I take talking to people and relationships really seriously. I feel kind of bad because I ignored him, I was surprised he tried to talk to me and I didn’t know what to say. Am I weird for feeling like this and why do I feel like people who are friendly with everyone have some type of agenda? Am I paranoid?
I share the same quality of sometimes being wary of those with a bit of extra charisma to go around. I think it's good to acknowledge that while they may seem one way, this charisma makes it possible for that 'seem' to be quite strong and you can't always tell if they'd make decent acquaintances or friends. I say have the benefit of the doubt, but it's definitely smart to choose friends carefully and choose them once you're positive they're good people in your eyes and that benefit of the doubt proved a positive result. It might not necessarily be that they have an agenda if they don't meet this standard. A lot of people don't really think all too seriously about the same kinds of values as others and if you find this out about people like this, just see it as a difference in values or how seriously you take it, because it's fine to take your friendships more seriously than others do. They can be an important part of your support network.
Honestly, yes. That is an earmark of paranoia, albeit a very light one. Take it as an opportunity; engage him in conversation in spite of any misgivings. Your fear is if talking to people, so deliberately talk to people. You won't be injured or in any danger by talking and socializing, so ignore your fear response and flex your social butterfly wings.
This reminds me of shadow theory. You might have a potential for articulatedness, that you unconsciously consider a defect and condemn on yourself, and consciously condemn in others's loquacity. This is your negative shadow, and to deal with it you have to recognize your own loquacity (or tendence to), and claim your articulatedness. Then his talking and befriending will be just something you notice, without judgment, and you will be articulated without being too loquace. If you think this might be it, you can read chapter 10 of How to be an adult, by Richo, for a more complete guide.
You sound very much like me. I've dismissed social acrobats because something about them screamed 'fake'. Like behind their toothy smile and casual small talk, they were really planning to find the most efficient way to humiliate me. The good thing is, you recognize that your mistrustful behavior may not dictate the healthiest response. I believe that you have the right to choose who would would like to be in your life, but don't mistake fear with being selective--you can pass up good people this way, I've learned. You sound like an introvert, and your classmate sounds like an extrovert. Extroverts feel at their best when they socialize, and I'm ridiculously confident that most of them aren't out to get you. At least, not intentionally. They just like to talk. Focus on them--not yourself and whatever lingering suspicions you may have of them. You don't have to like it, but it will certainly make it easier for you to interact with these type of people as you become more experienced in socializing.
As long as you realize you were being a little paranoid. This person most likely isn't planning your downfall. But it seems like that IS the plot of a slew of teen movies when I was younger, so that seed is always there. You probably reacted totally naturally...
Considering that he was a person from what you perceive as a different social group and/or another strata. So having this outsider approach you without warning? I mean, very little good could come from a single interaction, but a lot of bad could. I mean you could very easily fumble and embarrass yourself, reactively come off like a complete bitch by being overly defensive, etc.
Also there is a subconscious concern that this person is socially cheapening your reputation or social value. Your a very exclusive person and unlike him, don't throw yourself around to whoever wants a piece. I would give yourself a huge break...and then give him one, too.