Before visiting this site I had about 0 experience with self harm. I still have 0 personal experience but I have talked with a few people that do self harm. In all cases, thus far, there has been a traumatic experience leading the person down a path of depression and low self esteem.
I can only speculate but I think people that harm themselves have very little self worth which breaks my heart. Some of them cut because they feel they deserve to be in pain. Others cut because they are in a lot of pain but want to feel a different kind of pain or maybe localize it.
I would love to hear from others though... and learn more about how to help people that do self harm.
There isn't one right answer to why people do what they do, no person is the same and the motivations and reasons behind the decisions variate and affect people to a different degree.
In my opinion, based on past experiences and findings you could sum it down to one possible answer, because they have to, a great desire to inflict pain on themselves because that is the only way they know how to feel better.
It is a coping mechanism, which there are many different reasons for, to express pain and other emotions, to calm and soothe yourself, because you feel disconnected or numb, or maybe for release and to vent anger. For some it's a way to gain a sense of control in a world where they have none.
Just like any addiction, you can break it. Some easier than others, but never the less.
You can all the S.A.F.E. Alternatives information line in the U.S. at (800) 366-8288 if you’re not sure where to turn for help with your self-harm.
”In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.”
Indeed! @mongoose i believe its's not their fault why they do that. But how can we help them? I'm thinking of creating a group for people to stop cutting themselves and to avoid depression. But I find it a little difficult.
It's a type of release, really. It's hard to say what exactly causes self harm since it's different for everyone. For some it's a reminder, for others a punishment, those kinds of things. It's how we cope with the things going on in our lives.
Yes, I understand why people cut now. But i believe that all people needs someone to listen to and understand them :-)
Maybe instead of cutting why not try something good? I mean like hitting the gym, walk the dogs, do sports and do something nice. Not to harm yourselves. Its bad to harm yourselves though :-)
What I'm saying is that try to get an outlet(not by cutting yourselves or harming yourselves) to forget some problems :-)
I have been self harming over 5 years now. My first time was out of curiosity. Now i completly understand why i do it and what triggers it. Going to a mental hospital this year i realized how dangerous self harm is. Ive gotten stiches i have multiple scars everywhere. Of corse people stare and ask questions, do i care? no. am i ashamed? not at all. I find my scars to be something beautiful about myself and shows how much of a strong human being i am. I accept my past and understand why i needed it at the time. I can now fully say why i do self harm.
Self harm is used for many different reasons, everyone has a different opinion about it and how it makes them feel.. Just like any other subject. Some people may totally agree with me, others may not. It all depends on the situation causing you to. I knew a girl who was raped a lot by her step brother. She cut because she wanted to feel like she was in self control for something because she felt as if everything else in her life is uncontrollable like the things her step brother did. sadly, some people do this for attention.. In my opinion even if they have done it for that reason theyre still hurting inside and need comfort and help. I myself have been a victim to so much bullying i tried to take away the pain i felt from it. The constant headaches i got and just crying, once i self harmed the wounds and pain would take away from my other pain, so i could focus on something else. It would stop my crying and bad thoughts at the time. Your brain actually sends a high feeling to you when you cut, even if you get a simple wound, to help ease the pain. Im not saying this is the right way to go because it isnt at all, but in the past usually whenever i had a major anxiety attack i went straight to cutting or burning. I had to express my emotions in a type of way and that was just how. I also felt like i deserved some of it because of my bullying and not being able to keep friendships or relationships. I use to do it everywhere because i didnt want people to know. Thighs,ankles,hips,neck,arm.. Self harm can be just as addicting as anything else. If you havnt done it then you cannot judge others by it because it is a very hard experience to go through and recover from. Ive become a lot less addicted to it now and am hoping to fully recover soon. I am not ashamed of my past with self harming and i am honestly glad im able to overcome such an obstacle because i know that many cannot. I think of every day as a brand new one and i dont get upset or mad at myself for self harming. I understand and accept it and i also believe that acceptance is one of the keys to getting over self harm. Understanding your triggers and why you do it, knowing that you cannot change the past and stop overlooking it, and simply taking little steps to the future. Im here for anyone struggling with self harm. I wish i could educate more people on how important this subject is and how serious it can get. Self harm affects you not only physically but also mentally, it is a dangerous addiction. Nobody deserves pain that can effect you like that.
I did it because I wanted to seem deep or like I had a serious problem. I also didnt tell anyone because that would make me do it just for attention. I was "deeper" than that. I was doing it because I needed a secret that only I knew. I didnt care about the pain, or making me feel different. I needed to seem like the hero with a flaw, but one that no one else knew. Now i stopped, but i still do things to seem like an emotional and, I repeat, deep person. But on the outside, I would still look like the happy and positive guy that I am. This answer was about as honest as I could get.
For me personally it started out of curiousity. It was a stressful time with school with a big project I was fucking up and I had heard about it of course so one time I was like why not and it just felt so good. So I kept doing it whenever I felt like I wasn't good enough or failed at something and sometimes just because I wanted to see blood which is somewhat weird and I'm still not quite sure how that connects to the selfworth issues but there it is nowadays whenever I get the urge it's just the urge to see blood on my skin and draw it out and yeah
Everybody has different reasons for cutting, and hurting themselves. Whatever their reason is they get addicted..
Some start out on curiosity then take the pain they have out on it..
everyone take their pain out some how.
I'm "in remission". I deal with a lot of physical pain, not to mention I'm crazy as crazy gets! Cutting/burning were releases for me when stress and anxiety were high and it was a pain I could control when I couldn't handle the rest. I like the suggestions noted above, I think the only thing keeping us from those is the immediate fix. If we can deny ourselves the immediate fix for just a few moments, we have the time to get outside and do the physical things. We can look for other ways. In the heat of the moment, it's the fastest and most effective of alleviating the volcanic eruption of anxiety that's about to happen.
I haven't self harmed in a long time, but with my recent mental decline it's gone through my head now and again. For me it was always about control. I feel so empty, and that feels chaotic to me; it's as if I have no control over what goes through my head or how I feel. I felt numb, so I would cut. I would draw little doodles on my thighs because I could hide those, and it was something that I could physically feel even when everything else seemed so far gone. It was the only time I felt like I was in control of what was happening to me.