Why do I feel guilty?

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Before I went on Christmas break, me and my roommate were really good friends; we would hang out a lot and go to dinner with our other friends, but lately she’s been really mean and practically bullying me. Two weeks after we came back from break, I promised her I would go to the basketball game with her but I cancelled because my friend was having issues and wanted to talk about it. I apologized that night and asked her if she was okay when she came back from the game, she said everything was fine. I left it alone. The next day, she started ignoring me and I asked her why she was ignoring me, she told me that when she’s around a person for so long she flips out on them and that she has a condition called GAD that makes her flip out. I didn’t believe her but I didn’t tell her that, I said okay and left it alone. The next day she continued to ignore me and I didn’t press the issue but she took another one of our friends to the basketball game that we were going to go too with our face painted. It hurt when she didn’t tell me but I got over it and figured she needed her space so I didn’t bother her after that. Then she started telling everyone that I was the cause of us not being friends and even blamed me for her own problems and started talking bad about me and my professional relationships with my professors and how they understand my fears and phobias of public speaking. I tried to talk to her about it but she told me no and slammed the door which hurt me even more and made me cry. Since than I haven’t said anything to her, but there’s a lot of lying involved now and I don’t know why I feel guilty about this situation when a lot of people said it wasn’t my fault but I can’t help but feel like it is. Can anyone try to help me solve this? I’ve tried to talk to her about it but it doesn’t work and I’m going into a depression because of the bullying. Please help?

Category: Tags: asked February 16, 2015

4 Answers

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I don't see why you feel guilty. Your roommate absolutely should not be treating you like this. She sounds awful. You did everything you could by reaching out to her and trying to talk things through. Don't blame yourself for anything. I suggest explaining the situation to your university or college. That way you can get a new roommate and they'll get her to stop the abuse. I can't believe someone would do all of those things for such a small reason, don't take any of what she says personally because she's just saying what she can to make you feel bad. Get away from her, she is toxic and will only serve to hurt you more than she already has. Best of luck, Jasmine! Remember that you'll go on to be more accepting and forgiving of others, these qualities are very good and will serve you well in life. If she can't get over something like this and is unable to settle everything like an adult then she will live her life that way and face the inevitable consequences. So don't let this get you down ^_^.
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I have to agree with Silent Radiance on this one. She sounds awful for doing those things to you. Nobody should have to go through something like that. I am so sorry hun. You don't deserve to be treated like this. :(
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Thank you both! I really appreciate the feedback, it's been really helpful! Thank you so much! :) :)
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I completely agree with Silent Radiance. You shouldn't feel guilty because from what I read, nothing is your fault. Keep your head up! Good luck with everything!-Ivy