Why can’t I stop taking pictures?


I’ve been having this problem for quite awhile now. It started in 7th grade when I liked this guy, I hadn’t had a boyfriend or had my first kiss so I started showing this guy that I liked him we started talking. Later on he told me to sneak out and go to a school down the street, we started to make out and he started touching me, then when I went home he asked me to send him a picture. I was 12 and I was desperate since I saw my friends having boyfriends and doing stuff then it just became an addiction I wanted to feel loved and I thought if I send him a picture he would ask me out to be his girlfriend. I’m 16 now a junior in high school and so far I still haven’t had a boyfriend, but I’ve sent pictures to 4 guys including the guy from 7th grade. I am recently talking to a guy who I met through my church class (please don’t judge me) I really like him, but he keeps asking me to send him pictures, I like sending him pictures because he makes me feel loved and it makes my self esteem boost. I know it’s wrong my friends have told me to just stop talking to him, but I just can’t seem to stop. Some days I say to myself I will stop and I will never send pictures again, but then I feel like if I don’t I’ll end up lonely and I will never get a guy without sending pictures. Please help? Why can’t I stop taking pictures? Why do I enjoy it so much? I know it’s wrong, but I like the feeling I just hate the feeling after when we stop talking.

Category: Tags: asked November 11, 2014

5 Answers

I know where you are coming from. I didn't find my love at home I found it in all of the friends and guys that I was talking to. You will learn later on in life that being happy isn't something someone else can give you. Cheer up your beautiful no matter what anyone says! The greatest advice I ever received was the longer you hold out so the longer you don't send a picture or have sex they stay. If you don't give out in the first couple months and they leave then they weren't worth it. From experience I have been in the middle of making out and he went to have sex with me and I stopped him even though I was naked I still stopped him.. that man is still in my life three years later.
I kind of had the same problem in 7th grade. I would find random guys on kik and talk to them. I had never had a boyfriend or been kissed like all of my friends. I still haven't. They would say things that made me feel loved and they would ask for pictures. I didn't want them to stop saying those things so I sent them pictures. I thought that if I didn't they would get mad and they would stop making me feel loved. Eventually, I started to feel really guilty and decided to stop. My advice would be to just think about what you're doing and ask yourself if this is really what you should be doing. My situation was a bit different because I didn't know these people in real life, but it's still the same thing. If you stop, you might still want to feel loved and be tempted to continue taking pictures, but you just have to resist. That's what happens to me and I just have to resist my urge. I still haven't had a boyfriend or kissed anyone either, so it gets hard, but I just tell myself no. Just stay strong and I really hope you figure everything out.
If that's how you gain your confidence I don't know if I can tell you to stop. But its really wrong, if the wrong people find out and if it spreads too much you could get in a lot of trouble for that (both you and the guys). But if a guy doesn't love you for your personality hes not worth the time. all of my friends are guys and they have collections of pictures of multipul girls and they have no problem showing it to other guys and girls. Im 16 as well. ill admit though ive sent pictures before and right after I did, he broke up with me. he loved the picture but he didn't love me. you can message me and talk to me more about it. I understand.
You shouldn't have to send nudes to boys in order to feel loved. If you grow used to feeling good off of sending these pictures then you will rely on that love, which may get you into a bad place later. I don't have anything against nudes, but once you start relying on affection from them then it's unhealthy. Right now you are receiving praise and feeling like you fit in, which makes you feel good. This makes you want to keep up with what you are doing. The truth is, you don't know if you can trust these guys. They might leak your pictures or betray you. They might even hurt you. The moral is, don't don't don't don't rely on your body being sent out for appreciation. You deserve to be loved from every aspect, from your body to your character. Find someone who appreciates you for who you are and not just your physical traits. Sure, easier said than done, but the struggle is worth it. Your friends are right for trying to protect you. They see that this is an unhealthy relationship due to how you are benefitting from it. If you keep relying on this praise then it will put you in a bad place when it stops one day and you will know no other compliment. My advice to you is to find another way to make you happy. Hang around people who make you feel good, and not just for your body. Appreciate yourself. The most powerful praise comes from yourself. Look in the mirror every night and say 5 things beautiful about your body and 7 things beautiful about who you are. Respect your mind and body. Do not rely on others completely or you may find yourself in a bad situation. I hope this didn't come up as harsh to you, I really wish the best for you. I don't want you to end up relying on one source for confidence or feeling good. Best of luck!
You aren't obsessed with sending pictured, your issue is that you feel you HAVE to send pictures to get attention. You are lonely. Start going on dates without pictures and you will find that the need to do so goes away with it.