I’m talking to someone everyday. They are also talking to someone else everyday who I think that they like better. Everyday I decided that I am going to ignore them. But I keep getting sucked back in… Since we are just friends. Why do I want thier attention so badly? I hate myself.
I know exactly how you feel, I was completely obsessed with my best friend and whenever he would talk to someone I would feel this need to butt into the conversation and make it about us two. I did that and other stupid stuff for years. Once I figured I needed to give them some space, not completely ignoring them but only say hi see how they were doing and end the conversation. Once I started doing that, he seemed happier with me and would talk to me more. This isnt just a one time thing, you need to learn to keep it constant. I know that it kills inside for the first little while but once it becomes natural, your world becomes a whole lot brighter. Who knows, this may not even end up working for you but I wanted to give you what helped me.
You are only human, darling! It's normal to want love or company or someone to talk to! You don't have to completely ignore this person, maybe just distance yourself? Tell them how you feel, too! Do you like this person more than a friend? If you know you don't want to head down that path, just really distance yourself. You talk to them every day? Maybe try every other day. It's a way to slowly get you to lose the emotional attachment you've set up without completely ruining you. Hope I could help! Message me if you need! xoxo - Darling Alice