Why can’t I get over him?

I was in a long distance relationship with a guy last year. Despite the obvious downfall of living so far apart, it was an amazing relationship. We were both very much in love and believed we were right for each other. Eventually as both of our lives became busier, we had to end it simply because we wouldn’t have time for each other and the distance was beginning to take a toll. It hurt us both so bad because we didn’t want to do it. We never broke up because of cheating or an argument, so it hurt to leave a relationship were both were still in love. We did meet in person and got along very well so that also sucked to know we would have still be great if we lived close by. Anyway, our break up was almost 5 months ago and I’m still not over him. He cut off all contact with me about two months ago, and basically now doesn’t want anything to do with me which I found extremely strange. I’m still madly in love with him and it scares me because I don’t feel like I can get over him. I know everyone feels like that at first with a break up, but I genuinely don’t feel I can. Everything still reminds me of him. I find myself randomly bursting into tears multiple times a day and I can’t get him out of my head. I’ve come to a conclusion that we’ll most likely never be a couple again, and all I really want is to have him as a friend because not having him in my life just doesn’t feel right. I can’t talk to him or even get someone else to, so what am I supposed to do. This isn’t good for my health at all and I’m really worried.

Please don’t reply with rude or ignorant comments. Thank you x

Category: Dating & Relationships Tags: breakeup ex boyfriend feelings heartb long distance relationship love asked January 8, 2014

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Nova

110

5 Answers

2 accepted

well I'm going to say that you won't get over him, ever. But over time you'll probably start thinking of other things but it'll always circle back to him.. because when you love someone so much you can never let them go and I think the thing that matters most is your happiness right now. and maybe his but I think it sucks that he cut off communication between you two but he probably feels the same way.. but in time you'll feel better it might take a long time but the thing that's most important is you don't let yourself go into this depression for the years to come... it's always possible to love someone the way you did but with a different person.

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courtney

id say use distractions, go on a hike or a run, play music, write, take a bath, light a candle, read a book, smoke some pot (it can be very opening and awakening), do art, read, meditate, listen to music, volunteer somewhere, talk to a friend, spend time with a fun sibling, take a shower, etc! there are many ways to change your thought process. just be committed to happiness and it will come to you!

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Jane

6,075

I was once in that exact situation. Loved each other, long distance,met up and everything was perfect except the distance. Couldn't stand it so we broke up. I didn't get over him properly for a long time and kept crying. I eventually did though and now I am fond of him deep down but do not feel any of that horrible longing and upsetness, and now see that we weren't right for each other.It is just a matter of time. No contact is hard at first but it will help in the long run, trust me. My process was sped up by the fact that he hurt me and made some of my feelings of love turn to hate, which meant I got over him a bit faster. I'd say thinking of negative things about him, time, and finding someone else are the only cures.Good luck, and don't worry too much about it, I promise you won't love him anymore or at least won't be upset about it anymore soon enough. Just focus on other things and enjoy other parts of life!

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insightfulsidewalk

He will never be in your life again.

If somehow he does resurface, it will never ever be as it once was. The fact that he shut you out says he had decided to put you out of his mind, for that is what is best for him. It doesn't mean he never cared about you or that he doesn't feel exactly as you do now, it simply implies an understanding that long distance relationships take a great deal of time and energy to sustain; time and energy neither of you can afford to invest in at this point in your life when there are so many other expectations of you; the goals before you met each other.

You will have to practice being busy enough to not have the energy to think about him. Its not an easy task and if it was indeed true love, the intense feeling of love will never waiver when their energy is directed at you (a fuckin surprise email or text will send your heart shooting out of a cannon!). If you're lucky, it wasn't love, for love is an undying ghost...waiting to consume you.

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(◣_◢)Poet

1,424

CoLa's right, if a little blunt. When we first meet Romeo, he's telling his friends about breaking up with a girl named Rosalind and how he's sure that he'll never get over her. Two scenes later and he meets Juliet. That's where you are right now. Two scenes away from meeting Romeo. Believe in yourself -- that you're worth it -- and make yourself available to new things and new people. You're going to be just fine. Smile. Romeo's waiting.

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robot doctor