I have tried for years now to stay clean, do the right thing and b what I should b and still I am alone as ever, crying myself to sleep, cause all I want is a companion in life, a female one. I feel that it is my destiny to be alone….Ive been alone my whole life, even in a crowd I am alone. I just want to have someone to love and b nice to and have them feel the same way. Someone I am attracted too, someone I can confide in, but every time I try, I get shot down immediately and it hurts. It causes me to cut and burn myself cause at my age I should have girlfriends and whatnot but being demi-sexual, I cant like any girl unless she likes me and there is an attraction. I have friends who get prostitutes and go to strip clubs but that doers noting for me, I want something real and it compounds and is the main issues attributed towards my manic depression. Any girls wanna b friends with a fuck up like me? LOL just kidding