I have tried for years now to stay clean, do the right thing and b what I should b and still I am alone as ever, crying myself to sleep, cause all I want is a companion in life, a female one. I feel that it is my destiny to be alone….Ive been alone my whole life, even in a crowd I am alone. I just want to have someone to love and b nice to and have them feel the same way. Someone I am attracted too, someone I can confide in, but every time I try, I get shot down immediately and it hurts. It causes me to cut and burn myself cause at my age I should have girlfriends and whatnot but being demi-sexual, I cant like any girl unless she likes me and there is an attraction. I have friends who get prostitutes and go to strip clubs but that doers noting for me, I want something real and it compounds and is the main issues attributed towards my manic depression. Any girls wanna b friends with a fuck up like me? LOL just kidding
There could be a million different things you could do to help this problem I would encourage, but first of all you can't lose hope. I know it's hard especially if it's been going on for a while, but you just got to get up and keep trying. Do you feel like you're trying to hard? What are you in it for? Are you searching for the right people? These are all the questions you have to ask yourself. Sometimes it just takes a slightly different perspective. If you're trying to hard then stop doing that. Just be yourself and be nice. Don't go into a conversation with a girl with the hope of being in a relationship, but focus on building a friendship. A best friend can sometimes feel the gap of a relationship if they're of the opposite sex, and it comes with a lot less hassle and drama that occasionally happens with new relationships. Just make sure you're being nice. I haven't met a damn girl yet who dislikes, "You look good today!" or "That was pretty cute, haha". Seriously. Don't pursue, compliment! It might lead to a relationship, and ones formed like this are a lot stronger than the other. Don't be afraid to show a softer side. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you have to be all manly or be someone you're not. Talk about whatever you like and don't be afraid to hide anything. Be confident about who you are and what you say! Don't be too apologetic and don't be too harsh, it's easy if you just throw caution to the wind and be exactly who you want to be with nothing getting the way! Lastly, where are you searching for these relationships? I have to mention since you talked about strip clubs and prostitutes as I hope you're not searching there. Join clubs around town or wherever you are (I don't know if you're in school or not) you're interested in and find someone there. Start a conversation up at a library for all I care! "What are you reading?" is a far better question than "What are you drinking?". I hope any of this helps you. If you still feel lost or nothing I said made sense feel free to PM me and we'll talk. I hope the best for you man.
Dude why are you trying so hard? If you have the attitude that everyone is going to screw you over, you may very well make it true. Don't start planning a relationship with every person that you meet. You said someone I am attracted too and then you said someone that I can confide in. So it sounds like looks are more important than substance to you. Then you list all of the negative things about yourself and it sounds like you are letting those negatives shape who you are. You ask if anyone wants to be friends with a fuck up, well dude no one wants to be intentional friends with a fuck up. So stop being one and like yourself a little bit more and then you might just find that others like you more. I'm not just trying to be mean by saying this, I'm just giving you my opinion.