Why are the abused scared to leave their abusers?

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Many people are confused as to why a person stays with a person who treats them badly. I’ve heard people say that a person who stays with an abuser deserves to be abused? Do you think this is true?

Category: Tags: asked October 12, 2014

6 Answers

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accepted
1. They still love the sweet kind soul behind the dark beast 2. If you try you might die. 3.Their partner has made them feel so low about themselves that they feel no one would want them no one could possibly love them or care about them.. 4.They might has a lot of mutual friends and might be afraid of what kind of things their other can say about them. Maybe make them lose their friends? 5. Extreme cases they might be afraid their other might hurt their family 6. They know they might go to jail... But when they get out they might look for them..
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Definitely NOT! In many cases they still love their partner and genuinely believe things will get better, and it's very rare they do. People should speak out no matter how much they still love their partner or how much they believe they will change, because chances are they won't. Nobody deserves to be abused, and I mean nobody. It's such a horrid thing to go through , nobody deserves to be treated like that! We're all human at the end of the day :)
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Hmm, I read something once, it goes like this: "If you put a frog in deathly boiling hot water it will immediately jump out. If you put a frog in cold water and very slowly begin to turn up the heat, it will stay in there until it boils to death. This is a prime example of how abusive relationships work." I thought this was very interesting. I know people in abusive relationships and from what I've heard, it follows along pretty closely with that. They get in the relationship for whatever reason, grow attached, and things slowly start to get worse. The victim of abuse is still attached to their partner and perhaps believes that they will get better. This person may also still rely on their abuser for something, or their abuser may be threatening them. I knew a girl who was extremely heartbroken after being broken up with by her boyfriend. In the midst of her sorrows a girl came to her, promising to make her feel better and be her girlfriend. So they started dating and she really helped her out. Over time, things started getting worse. She started hitting this girl and threatening her about the things she would do if the girl tried to break up with her. This victim wanted out from the abuse, but was still attached from having her scoop her out of her sorrows. So the victim is conflicted and being threatened, making the situation harder to get out of. It's definitely a difficult subject to talk about when you don't have experience in an abusive relationship. I hope this helped you understand!
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Abusers nurture the thought in their victims' mind that they deserve their treatment; that the world is even worse than how they have it now, that if they leave it will be worse. In short, abusers are assholes.

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I think they stay possibly out of fear and denial. Fear because they are threatened and denial because they still love them and make excuses to make it seem okay. I've never been put in this position but I really hope to anyone that has you find someone that treats you 1000x better and makes you question why you ever stayed with the abuser in the first place
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Nobody deserves to be hurt if they are just casually living their life and doing what is needed... I think that anybody that stays with an abuser is most likely living in fear. Most people would not like being physically or mentally hurt. Sometimes the abuser, has the power to persuade the victim that what he or she is doing, is ok. Manipulation. It does not make it okay.. at all. Sometimes it takes a lot of willpower and strength to get out of a situation like that.