Why Am I Stupid?

Ive known this guy for ages, its been more than 2 years and I still cant get over him, we tried to remain friends but we ending up all the time falling for each other and making out. I really like him lots but he has also used me so much pain, he dated before, then he left me for some other girl then came back running to me. Everyone said I was better than her. I know he doesn’t like me as much as I like him, also he gave a bad impression to my sister as she heard he got drunk before prom and in my household its seen as a bad thing although I just think its typical. My feelings wont go away and I don’t know what to do, I love him but I know he doesn’t back, he says he likes me but doesn’t want a relationship. Which means he doesn’t want to be seen with me, right? We have loads of great memories and we’ve met each others parents, we still see each other but I don’t know if it will be for much longer, I don’t know how bad he wants to be with me, its usually messes up over something stupid. Im stupid in love, waiting for replies of texts taking hours, but fair enough I leave it hours as well sometimes.

we’ve tried not being friends at all, like not speaking and it kills us both

Category: Dating & Relationships Tags: #help #therapy boy advice confusion dread feeling help relationship relationships asked July 2, 2014

link

Sarah

4 Answers

0 accepted

First of all you're not stupid. I went through something very similar. I had been going out with my ex for 2 years almost, then it all ended because he said that I would get to "depressed" over him. And well I cant get over him. I would txt him call him , even go look for him, but if someone doesn't want your love or they don't value it then they don't deserve it. Begging is the worst thing you can do honestly. Its hard I know it is but overtime it'll be easier. I know people tell you that all the time but it really will be. I wont lie, you'll feel horrible the first couple of months years even but after he'll just be another guy.

link

Jasmin Chavez

Okay first off you are not stupid. You are feeling an emotion and that is clouding your ability to be objective. that is not called being stupid. That is called being human. So the first thing you need to do is realize that you are not being stupid, you are asking for some outside perspective so if anything i would say you are a pretty smart girl. Next point is that loving a person and being able to maintain a stable relationship are two different things. He does sound like a person who has his share of conflict to deal with. Him saying he doesn't want a relationship with you is probably his way of trying to shield you from being hurt. Okay? so you are smart and he does like you. But it does sound like he is in a bad place. Try to put up some temporary distance to let him sort through some things. Your feelings for him sound very strong but you have to realize that sometimes guys need some space to sort things out for themselves. Maybe give it a few days and reassess the situation then.

link

Levi-UR

970

I have been in similar situation twice, but then I realized that I am not a doll, I realized that there are other people who may appreciate my love. But your attraction to him I could try to guess. Maybe you are just too used to all this. Maybe you need some stability and comfort and you find it in being with him. I mean, you understand that is is not loving you so much as you love him, but I guess if you stay with him, it will only hurt you. Just understand that sometimes the things we want are not the best for us. It is really hard to break up if you still love somebody,but form my experience I am more than glad that I did that. If you feel lonely, try to spend more time with your family in friends, I guess, you will need their support. But if I was you I wouldn't even stay as his friend. And maybe it is so hard because he is your first? (I am just assuming) but I think, if he had done those things more than twice, you shouldn't be waiting for miracle to happen. I know this is though. Be strong:)

link

gitaarius

You were hit hard by the Wizard's Third Rule: "Passion rules reason, for better or worse."

link

Humanist Hope

16,417