I’ve been in and out of therapy for a long time, for many reasons, from feeling as though I’m not being taken seriously, to having difficulties connecting with the person trying to help me, to feeling better and thinking I can finally get on with my life.
Recently I’m come to realise that I’m not ‘all better’, and I’m really very reluctant to try and get help again. I was in denial that there was anything wrong with me at all because I didn’t want to feel weak and helpless, I wanted to feel like I could stand on my own two feet for once. But now that I know I need help I’m finding it so difficult to ask, to bother to look, to make an effort to get it. Even with the help of friends I’m struggling not to push them away in search of complete solitude in which I can simply waste away in.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so stupid, selfish, weak and utterly tied up.
You need to be willing to get help. These people are wanting to help you and get you back to being happy again. So you need to be willing to say, "Hey, I want to be better. I WANT to get help." If your friends understand you enough, then they should want to help you. This website also has the option to talk to a certified therapist, so you could talk to them.
You might need to sit down with someone, such as family or friends, and tell them that you feel like you need help and you want to get help. If they think you're acting crazy then you may just need to find a counselor to talk to yourself. As the saying goes, "you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself."
well this is the first step ... you should leave your room, staying too long in one room can make you depressed and you wont feel like having any human contact
i know it is hard for you to do the first step but once you step out you will start feeling more comfortable and willing to move on
and asking for help doesnt mean youre weak, it shows you are strong enough to accept the fact that you need help....it is better than staying in denial
so try having some fresh air and see if you feel better