Why am I so OBSESSED with my boyfriend’s ex gf? How can I stop?!

we’ve been together for 1 year and 2 months and im actively stalking his 2 exes for a year. I became fascinated by the identity of his exes. Is she a more interesting, attractive person than me? Would I like her if I met her? whats with her that my bf used to like. its killin me seeing an older posts on their facebook about my bf. i kept on torturing myself with this but i can’t seem to stop. I even made a fake Instagram and facebook and added her. I’ve saw a few things with her and him in the past while snooping so now I’m hooked. I have trust issues so thats where it stems from. I look at her pics to see what he saw in her, I don’t know when i’ll ever stop. I don’t feel she’s prettier than me but idk, I just can’t help it. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks about me me as much as I think about her. I wish I could stop but there is always that curiosity. I think every female does this in some way, probably not like me but I know others are curious and snoop around.

Category: Dating & Relationships Tags: #dating #relationship #help #stalking #cyber asked September 10, 2014

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chinadoll

3 Answers

1 accepted

Hi Chinadoll. You've probably already guessed, but this likely isn't the most constructive use of your time. Occasional interest in your spouse's history is pretty harmless, but if checking on his exs has become a daily ritual than I think that's a red flag. Your focus should be on your future with your boyfriend. Not his past and certainly not his exs. Everyone has trust issues. There isn't a single person I know who hasn't been wronged by someone they placed their trust in. But having baggage isn't justification for fixating on someone else's life. For your own mental health, I suggest deleting your fake accounts and moving on.

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OpenTalk

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Chances are, this girl has no interest in you. I suggest you work on your self esteem. It seems you're obsession is because you're comparing everything you do to someone else. The thing is, he's not with them anymore, there is a reason for that! Obviously there was something about his ex's that he did not like, why would he want you to be anything like them? We all go through life looking for a near perfect mate. Most of us go through a many of people before we find someone that sticks. So my advice is let that obsession go. Go find something that makes you feel better about yourself. What would make you feel like a more accomplished, more beautiful person? You can change to suit your self esteem! Don't change for anyone but yourself, and be careful. If he found out you were stalking his ex's, he might not find that very amusing.

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Squidfase

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There's a lot of girls, and guys too that deal with this or similar things. You get curious about ex's. You can't tear yourself up wondering about what it was he liked in them, etc. That's in the past, and now he's with YOU, loving YOU, not them. There's a reason that they are no longer together. Focus on your relationship and future with him and leave them in the past. Building up your self esteem and confidence will help a lot. Confidence will also help with trust issues, maybe discuss them with your boyfriend too so he understands. I'm sure every girl gets curious but don't let it over take your life. You're with him now and happy, that's what matters, not the ex girlfriends. They're ex's for a reason dear!

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megan taylor

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