Why am I not crazy?


Alright, so I’m now in university and the first week of frosh has come and gone:

I’m neither horny or have any desire to flirt. I’m not in the mood to party, or drink. I’m not going CRRRRRAAAAZZZZZYYYYYYY because I’ve moved out of home and I’m basically living by my own rules. Compared to the majority of my classmates and fellow freshmen, I’m pretty boring.

I don’t know whether it’s the fact that I prefer to know a guy before I try and get his number, or would rather toss back shots with my best friends rather than with people i’ve just met, but i’m not feeling that adrenaline everyone else seems to have, i’m lacking that aggressive enthusiasm that comes with frosh and starting university. And digging deeper, I guess I’m feeling a little insecure too.

Inside, i’m worried i’ll never date or have sex in uni because i’m not into ‘experimenting’ and would rather have a stable relationship, while everyone else is just having one night stands and hook up’s. i don’t want to toss out my first kiss or virginity because i can. for frig sake, i won’t touch a guy with a ten foot pole right now, because chances are, he just wants in my pants. i would rather party with my friend’s as it’s just something i’m just more comfortable with and it’s safer.

why am i not crazy? what the hell is wrong with me? i’ve dreamed of uni all throughout high school thinking i would finally been able to let loose and party and get into trouble, but now, it feels more isolating and intimidating than ever.. where’s my mojo? why can’t i break free of my insecurities and just take on the world? why am i holding back?

am i even making sense here?

Category: Tags: asked September 1, 2014

2 Answers

Because your personality doesn't change because your location does. What's crazy, is to expect to pull off a 180 in a short period of time.
I am not in uni, I am only 17 but I feel the same. In my country you can start drinking at 16 but almost everyone starts earlier, between 13 and 15. I don't like to drink, not because of the flavor (I like some drinks) but because I always overthink, I control my actions too much. I believe that if I was drunk I would do stupid things, things that then I would regret a lot. I have a huge fear of being judge but I am judge any way, I am the prissy girl. I would love to forget all my fears and just have fun! I can't. When I go to a party I barely drink, or even talk, I am giving up because I don't fit in that group. I like them, but I am completely different and I feel that I am boring, like, no one wants me there. I also agree with you that I wouldn't loose my virgitiny with a guy I just met, for one night. I don't know what to say, I have the same problem and sometimes I would like to change, others I think that the best would be accept myself this way. You can message me if you want to talk.