Alright, so I’m now in university and the first week of frosh has come and gone:
I’m neither horny or have any desire to flirt. I’m not in the mood to party, or drink. I’m not going CRRRRRAAAAZZZZZYYYYYYY because I’ve moved out of home and I’m basically living by my own rules. Compared to the majority of my classmates and fellow freshmen, I’m pretty boring.
I don’t know whether it’s the fact that I prefer to know a guy before I try and get his number, or would rather toss back shots with my best friends rather than with people i’ve just met, but i’m not feeling that adrenaline everyone else seems to have, i’m lacking that aggressive enthusiasm that comes with frosh and starting university. And digging deeper, I guess I’m feeling a little insecure too.
Inside, i’m worried i’ll never date or have sex in uni because i’m not into ‘experimenting’ and would rather have a stable relationship, while everyone else is just having one night stands and hook up’s. i don’t want to toss out my first kiss or virginity because i can. for frig sake, i won’t touch a guy with a ten foot pole right now, because chances are, he just wants in my pants. i would rather party with my friend’s as it’s just something i’m just more comfortable with and it’s safer.
why am i not crazy? what the hell is wrong with me? i’ve dreamed of uni all throughout high school thinking i would finally been able to let loose and party and get into trouble, but now, it feels more isolating and intimidating than ever.. where’s my mojo? why can’t i break free of my insecurities and just take on the world? why am i holding back?
am i even making sense here?