i grew up as a Catholic, but going to church and praying would never work for me. I wanted to kill myself when i was younger because I felt like I didnt belong in this world.. I lived my life feeling horrible because I was a sinner and would always do bad things. I was raised to believe that I can go to hell if I don’t ask God for forgiveness. Today, I feel that is one of the most cruel things you can tell anyone !
why should I believe that after suffering here for so many reasons, when I die I am going to suffer in hell?? after years of trying and trying to have the same beliefs as my family I felt like I didnt want to pray because I never felt like I can ‘feel’ god. I felt like no matter how much I cried and prayed to him he’d never listen..
In school I enjoyed science and always questioned my religion because of all the things I learned..
about 2-3 months ago, I began researching Buddhism and I feel I have finally found something I can spiritually relate to. I am hoping to one day meet a modern day Buddhist to teach me the proper way to meditate and more about their beliefs. All I know is from google and youtube and I finally feel like there is hope and I don’t have to always feel like this horrible person who is going to suffer in jail