I was thinking if you want to find a good guy, you have to look in the right places. For example, if you want to find guys that are conscious of their figure, go to the gym. If you want to find brainy men, go to the library. Things like this. I think the places you go to can give others a hint about your character. Any opinions about this?
My experience is that once you stop looking is when the good guys will come to you. I searched for years to find someone, and either they were good guys and it didn't work out, or they were totally in it for the wrong reasons, while I was looking for a long term relationship. I had stopped looking and put walls up... then a guy approached me for once, and he is now my husband. :)
Thats a good question! Well i think maybe it's not where the good guys are, but more like where is the good inside the guy. ya know? like, not every guy is just born like a douchbag. There is good in everybody. It just takes the right person to bring it out in them at the right time. Like theres alot of brainy guys that go to the gym too and alot of muscle heads that go to libraries(rarely, but they do) lol You'd be surprise about some of the places that certain guys go to that might be totally opposite of what you think thier character is. Go to places that YOUR interested in. Most likely you'll meet someone that prolly has similiar interests that you do.
Part of the answer is going to depend heavily on what you mean by 'good' guys. I've found that there's a pretty consistent distribution of good people to horrible asshats in any given population, but the precise flavor changes depending on subculture. Gym rats are more prone to the steroidal overcompensator and physical abuse subtypes, stereotypical geeks are more likely to be psychologically or verbally abusive and/or have defective social boundaries, etc.I think a better question to start with here is "what do you want in a partner"? What personality traits are you wanting to avoid? What interests are you hoping to share with someone?There's not a Awesome Boyfriend members-only clubhouse, dating would be a lot simpler if there were. ;)
In my experience, women typically don't want "nice guys" for long-term partners. This is because it is the "a-holes" that embody masculine qualities, like confidence and aggressive ambition. It is rare to find a "nice guy" that has the qualities that women are looking for. It is not impossible, though. In my experience, women will not entertain a relationship with a partner that is full of insecurities. They want to feel safe and protected by their man. There is a combination of the two traits, nice and *manly*, that you can find in some guys. These are the nice guys that are self-accepting and accepting of other people. They have learned to love who they are and this shines far brighter than "bad boy" confidence. They're content in life, and typically they're very spontaneous. They create their lives based on what works for them, and are open to others joining them, but aren't going to persuade anyone to join them. They allow others to make their own decisions. They are warm and accepting, joyful and exhilarating.This is the solution to the problem of girls being attracted to "a-holes", and for "nice guys" not being able to land a date.
Really that depends what you mean by "good guys". That does sound like a very general term and it sounds almost like you are trying to categorize boys/men and say that good guys only hang out with good guys and vice versa. The simple truth is that good guys don't necessarily hide in one place. Most groups I've been part of have their mix of good guys and bad guys. The thing that I have found gets in the way of finding good people is twofold. 1. people have different ideas about what "good" means. So when you say you want a good guy what do you mean? do you mean moral? do you mean considerate? do you mean thoughtful? those are 3 different traits often seen as "good" but they are easier to be mindful of. 2ndly, it's easy to find a good person, but what often trips people up is realizing they have found a good person. I'm not saying that cliche nice guys are ignored shit. (seriously as a nice guy I find that annoying and counterproductive) What I mean is that sometimes we don't know what we want, so we go for what we think we want. In the moment it is hard to realize this so try to ask yourself afterwards "does this person have the qualities I am looking for?" and that feeds right back into point 1. What do you mean by good? try to be specific, then be on the lookout for it. I hope this helped but remember, it all comes down to one question. What do you want?