When is the right time to tell her?


I’ll try to keep this short. After 2 years of dating, my girlfriend and I moved in together in the spring. Six months later, after a rough summer, she decided she wants more freedom in her life and we have broken up. I was pretty beat up for about a week, but have since gotten back on track and have actually gone out on a few dates with a cool girl. Here’s the kicker. My ex and I still live together as roommates in a 2 bedroom condo. I know it’s going to be a very tough thing to bring up with the new girl I’m hanging out with, but I know that I will have to breach the subject soon. My question is if anyone can give me advice on how to approach this with more sensitivity, and ideally not completely scare off the new girl I’ve been hanging out with?

Category: Tags: asked October 1, 2014

3 Answers

Hi Jonathon,

A situation like this, unfortunately, is never going to be easy.

If you like the girl that you're seeing now, then of course you owe it to her to be honest to her about your living situation, especially because she'll find out at some point if things progress.

Rather than drag it on and build it up too much in your head, I would be honest and upfront with her. Explain to her that you understand it is an awkward situation, but that you want to be upfront and not hide anything from her.

From here she may react one of a few ways. She might be reluctantly ok with it, in which case I would slowly ease her into getting used to your place - maybe invite her over when you know your ex won't be home?

The reality of it is that a lot of people won't want to be involved with someone who lives with an ex-partner, because of all the obvious risks/awkwardness it carries. If she feels that way, you can't really hold it against her.

At the end of the day though, being honest, forthcoming and open about it (eg. answering any questions she may have) will give you the best chance, rather than trying to hide it and her finding out another way later down the track.
When you mention how you or your ex are looking for a different living arrangement. It's not the end of the world if you and your ex are managing to live together without drama, the new girl will understand.
If on the other hand it's a very toxic thing, then be sure to let her know that you are trying to get out of it.
the situation is not in your hands.the girl will surely get upset and fuss will be made when you'll tell her.it might happen that she gives you a condition of shifting to some other place. you know,girls can't stand the idea of their guy having any kind of contact with their ex.anyways you have to tell her the sooner the better.it'll be good if you let out your honest feelings to the girl and be strong enough to handle her reaction and please don't loose your composure..you have to outline the situation very clearly to that girl and very calmy. put yourself in her shoes and then act all the best hope things turn out in your favor!