What’s wrong with me?

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I’m gonna list here all my problems so this question won’t have to be long, here we go:

- Worrying about everything constantly, have problems with controlling it.
- Sometimes my heart starts beating fast and really hard, and I start breathing really heavily, it dosen’t last long, maybe like 10-15 minutes. It comes out of nowhere..
- I start to panic when I talk in front of other people, when the teacher asks me to say an answer to a question my heart starts beating so fast and I start sweating and I become really anxious.
- I’m really worried of what others think of me, I can’t tell my honest opinion in a conversation because I fear being judged.
- Some days I don’t feel interested in living at all, and just depressed all day.
- I’ve had suicidal thoughts, like a lot of them. They don’t really bother me since I’ve had them for a while but still, is this something serious?
- I have a voice in my head telling me to do things. I don’t really hear it, but I know it’s not my mental voice but I can’t control it! It’s like some sort of intrusive thought. Here’s an example of what it says: “If you don’t fix that tilted frame in 10 seconds, your mom is gonna die!”
- Sometimes I get random and weird urges to do dangerous things, like throwing myself off a cliff, stabbing myself..But sometimes the urges are really weird like tapping something or picking something up and putting it down again. Or even insulting someone!
- I get weird thoughts and images in my head that I can’t get rid of, (intrusive thoughts) And they’re so sick and horrible I can’t even describe them without wanting to cry!

So what do you think might be wrong with me? My guesses are anxiety/OCD..
Am I wrong? Is this serious?
Those problems don’t bug me THAT much, but like some days they just ruin my day completely.
Thanks for reading if you read it all the way to the end. Might edit this if I remember more problems.

Category: Tags: asked September 4, 2014

2 Answers

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accepted
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First, don't go near cliff, ok? I have half of your problems but am used to it. It doesn't bother me anymore. This suicidal ideas you have, might be good thing to check with a doc. And once there you can explain him the rest of your problems. I am sure you will be fine.
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Hey,So first of all, when you get anxious or afraid, take a deep breath. Trust me, it works! I've had the same problem, and now, I'm a public speaker. Just 4 month ago, I had a conference in front of 156 people. So I know what I'm talking about. Just close your eyes for a second, take a deep breath, and let go of all your worries. Try it, it won't hurt!As for those thoughts; look, I don't really know what's going on in your life, but I do know one thing. When you surround yourself with people you care about, with friends, this "depression" -if we may call it- won't exist!! Getting these thoughts may result from problems you're experiencing, whether problems with your family/home, or with school/friends. But when these thoughts come into your mind, just remember this: the world won't be the same without you. Now I don't know you, but I'm sure that there are so many people who care about you and love you. So when this "voice" in your head tells you to jump off a cliff, or to cut yourself for example, be stronger! Don't surrender! Tell yourself that these voices, these horrible thoughts, don't exist! You're important to someone. To many. Just say "NO! I won't let you get into my head and ruin my life!", because in the end, it is your life, and no one can control you.I hope I helped, but I think you need to talk to a specialist, it will help you even more.I hope to hear from you. I really want to know what happens with you. Write back. Love, Nathalie.