What’s up with me?

For this whole year, I’ve been really slacking off on everything. Even though I know that I have to study for a test, when I actually force myself to sit down and get things done, I find that I just can’t do it. I’ve tried eliminating distractions like hiding my phone and reminding myself that I HAVE to do it but nothing seems to work. During class, I just kind of drift off. When I try to concentrate, I grow increasingly scared, I don’t know why. The thing about my school is that it’s incredibly competitive. My school mates are pretty ruthless and spend hours a day studying. There are tests every week and my grades are just slipping. Last year, I did really well for my studies with even less effort so it makes me very angry when I think about why I am like this now. Nowadays, I don’t even feel much when I see a fail grade. I dread waking up every morning even though I know there are things to look forward to, but I find that I’m just caring less and less.

One more thing, I feel sort of disconnected from who I am in the day and at night. I can talk to my friends perfectly fine in the day. People think I’m quite an optimistic and cheery person, not at all the kind to become brooding. I can safely say that nobody suspects anything is wrong with me. I kind of just forget about everything in the day, whether I’m alone or with friends. When I don’t pay attention in class or can’t bring myself to do simple tasks like I mentioned earlier and my friends wonder why, I just come up with an excuse that I, myself, am able to believe too. It’s only when it’s late then everything becomes daunting to me. I feel like I’m slowly sinking and losing value. My self-esteem was(is?) great, I used to be one of those kids who believed that I could accomplish everything and was (am?) always encouraging everyone to do their best. But now, I feel sort of like everything I’m saying is a lie.

The scary thing is that I’m beginning not to care too. I feel like I can just give up on myself and everything will stop being so suffocating. I really don’t want to make my parents worry at all. They’re kind of in a fragile state right now so the last thing I will ever do is add to their burdens, so I guess it rules out the possibility of going to a doctor. Do you have any advice for me?

Tags: # confused Life sad asked October 12, 2014

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cambrine

4 Answers

1 accepted

You're hitting burnout and you need to de-stress. Something, somewhere caused you to begin to doubt yourself and other reasons to continue doubting yourself are piling on. Coupled with the stressful atmosphere at school, your failures mounting in front of you is making you feel hopeless.

What you really need is a win to get your confidence back. Forget the current shitty state of things and focus on a single academic goal; an A on a particular assignment whose material you know well. A single A has the chance of helping you find your confidence and again and kick-start your work ethic.

Begin to look objectively at your daily activities; how do you go into class feeling? When do your negative moods begin, when do they peak, and what kinds of things cause them to subside? How are your study habits? What kind of study environment do you have? Is there any way to improve it?

These are only a few suggestions to help orient your mind in the right direction for success. If you'd like to continue discussing this in private, my inbox is always open.

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Humanist Hope

16,417

It sounds like deperession, but you have to get to the doctor, as your parents want a better life for you, so you have to tell them this, they want a better life for you, and if you are depressed, you can't get a better life, because your grades will go down, so I suggest telling them your problems, and saying you want to go to the pschyologist.

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Dung

382

It sounds to me like you have a lack of drive. Do you enjoy doing what you do? I did a year of Psychology and Sociology and I often didn't try and it just made me feel depressed; I felt like I was doing nothing with my life and that everyone had found their calling..
I felt like a lost cause; nothing could help me, but I am gonna tell you that I did find a solution to this problem.
I eventually started on a new course; one that I liked, and almost immediately my confidence just grew and grew. I felt comfortable in my own skin and I no longer felt like I had no place in the world.
I can't say I know everything about you, but I know that if you feel like I did, then you need to find something that you'll enjoy. I initially started my new course not even interested in the outcome, but I loved it.. Maybe it was just the change of scenery but I felt like a human being again, and for this I am eternally grateful to my new college.
Listen man, if you need any help I'm always gonna be here. I know I'm a new user, but I do care about you guys an awful lot.

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Anthony

160

I'm really sorry this is happening to you it is no fun and it can be scary. To me it sounds like your going through what I did when I started to get sick. You may be getting depressed and having problems with anxiety. It gets better I promise, you may just have to talk to people about it and take it easy for a little bit. With your school work try breaking it down in to small pieces and rewarding your self when you complete those small tasks. It takes a bit more time but it makes dealing with it a bit less stressful. Same with studying if you break it down and reward your self it becomes an easier thing to do. If it helps your marks will always fluctuate it doesn't matter what you do. However if it really worry you then maybe you should try talking to one of your friends and getting them to explain the bits of the curriculum you dont get to you. If you wanna talk about it again you can message me and Ill respond has fast has I can.

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Bird

326