Whats life really worth?


I am pretty angry.. at my life.. my self.. I have no real GREAT qualities about me.. I have LOADS of interests.. but there is only a couple of things that I would like to aspire in and actually would like to work in as a job.. and that is art,drawing,painting that kind of stuff.. The problem is my art work is medeocre at best.. YEAHhhh.. it impresses the typical person who never actually tried to put fourth the effort to learn these things.. but never really impresses people enough to want to pay for them.. I have tried offering my services for a childrens book among a couple other things.. I had a freelance artist page up that no one was interested in.. My art work is so much lower quality than the thousands of ppl out there that do this kind of stuff.. I cant seem to make my brain take in any more information on this subject.. it seems no matter what I read or look at my art quality stays about the same.. I see no progression.. I am not really interested in doing anything else.. and I get super stressed out if I am not doing anything I enjoy.. not to mention my brain just litterally shuts down when I work normal jobs.. because I have to be beside myself to put up with staying there.. and I am so slow that every employer that I have had was a shit to me because of it.. I cant go faster because I mess up when i do.. I tried college but only managed to pass my elective type classes (or my art classes).. I can not seem to get my mind to function AT ALL unless I am doing something I like to do.. Due to circumstances I am on SSI.. but I do not get enough to do hardly anything.. So basically I can not do what I want to do in life.. so i am about ready to call it quits.. I do not function well doing stuff I do not like.. and I am not good enough to make a living of what I like.. So basically im just here taking up space.. and before you all go on about I might be too hard on my self or whatever.. No I am not.. I just have the unfortunate gift of being extremely aware of my self and abilities.. there is a saying that you shouldn’t know too much about your self.. and this is part of the reason why.. I really hate this life I was brought in to.. its like I was put here for torture purposes only.. “here I put you here to watch everyone else excel and earn money from what they like to do.. and win at life more than you.. whilst you can do nothing but watch, and waste away and eventually die trying to accomplish something in your life..” All i can do with my life is sit and watch others go on with their lives.. and wish I could do that.. I am just sick and tired of the Bull life is feeding me.. My brain is useless and does not allow for growth and progress.. I am doomed to just sit and watch the world do its crappy thing its suppose to be doing.. and watch crappy humans who are vile excuses for life forms get on with the happy and while I have to live life on the lowest rung of the latter possible.. a step up from homeless and starving but not much more then that..

Category: Tags: asked January 27, 2014

5 Answers


Everyone has their own strong and weak points. If you love to draw and paint, and want to live your life doing it, then do it. If you feel like your art is not what you want it to be, then maybe you need to change yourself too. Your feelings and fears, your emotions, affect directly our art. So maybe all you need is changing your point of view, changing how you see life. If you have hope and if you are able to believe in yourself and believe that life is worth it, then your art will reflect that.
Besides, there's no use comparing yourself to other artists. Everyone is different, and have different levels of experience. Try unusual things and types of art, don't attach yourself to rules or how you think everything have to look like. Being an artist, even a professional one, is all about freedom. Your skills will develop and you'll improve, if that's what you want.
Good luck =)
Life is not something that can have a value placed upon it. We are the ones who created money, it's not something that can be used to define us.
I know finding a job that you actually enjoy can seem like an impossible task, but work is called work for a reason. It's not designed to be something that is enjoyable in the same fashion hobbies are. That's why sometimes when people turn their hobbies into work, it's no longer enjoyable for them. Work is something that requires only the willingness to participate and put forth an effort in an individual. Making a living is something that requires effort, and work is where you put forth a majority of that effort. Although a job may not be something that you can see yourself highly enjoying, it's the people that you work with that really make or break a job. If you work with people that you can't relate to or befriend, then that work environment should be avoided. Though many bonds in work are forged from the effort that individuals share towards a common goal. It works the same way as when bonds form through war, or even competitions. Working towards a common goal is what will form most bonds at a workplace, so worrying about not getting along with your fellow workers shouldn't be much of a concern.
Accomplishments in life come from a lot of time and effort. People don't just suddenly achieve something. When they do achieve something, there is a long story along with a large bundle of time and effort prior to the achievement that they have earned that is not commonly talked about. Perhaps mentioned, but never really dug into. The reason others seem to rise to their achievements so swiftly is because that is the only part that you really notice, because it is the only point that is brought to light during conversation. Take for instance, an artist will proudly display what has been considered their finest works of art. However, what they do not display or mention, is the piles upon piles of works that they had created in order to finally pump out those few select pieces. Those piles of work, which are usually discarded entirely, are the result of the artist's continuous effort and practice. If it weren't for those works that were created with the artist's best skill at the time of creation, they wouldn't have been able to create anything worth displaying at all. They would still be back at the point where they were when they created those works that were not top display quality.
The more time and effort you put into something, the more refined and skillful you will become in that field. And while this won't happen in a week, a month, or even a year or two, you will never get anywhere just sitting there procrastinating about what to do. Everything begins with you taking that first step. Procrastination will do nothing but hold you back.
A word of advice; life begins outside of your comfort zone. Don't give up on a task just because it seems daunting or challenging. And don't be afraid to try something new. New experiences are what really make you feel alive, I know from experience.
I used to be in the place where you are right now. I know what it feels like, I can relate to the things you say all too well. And you know what? I'm still working my way out of there. However, I'm at a point where it's like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, where I can see what lies in wait for those who just don't give up and keep on forging ahead in search of the things that they search for. So let me tell you, it may be a bit of a challenging journey, but if you keep on working on it and pushing yourself to advance, before you know it you will see that hard work and effort really does bear laborious fruit. It's just a matter of getting yourself to go for it. So, go for it buddy. And don't be afraid to make the journey an exciting one.
No one is born with perfect skills and abilities, everyone, literally everyone, has to develop skills first. The difference between skill level is usually just how fast we learn. Obviously, some people have natural talent, but a lot don't, and they still become very skilled and very successful in their field. You can learn to do anything. It just takes work. You can't just do the splits, you have to spend MONTHS, stretching your muscles. You can't just do advanced algebra problems, you first have to learn what the numbers mean, which we usually learn when were young. Our whole school career is slowly teaching us how to do algebra. My point is, everything takes time. We all have different ways in which we learn. Different speeds. Not succeeding right now doesn't mean failure. It means opportunity. You don't apply for one job at a time, apply for heaps, and don't take rejection personally. It's not about how good you are, it's how well suited you are to that particular job. There will be a lot of jobs you will be suited to but you have expand and look in places you haven't looked yet. Don't give up on yourself yet, you still have so much you can accomplish. It's not over yet! Good luck.
Your inability to focus sounds a bit like ADHD. Have you been to a doctor about it? Your anxiety is also very much manageable, you just sound like you put so much stress on yourself that you burn out before you have time to build any good habits or connections.
If you gather all the riches of the earth together and add them up, well life is worth more than that.