What to do? My ex and my cousin are together..

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September of last year I broke up with my ex bf that I’ve been with for 3yrs because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for him. So I decided to get myself together first and be more mature to be suitable for him. Also, I felt like the only thing that was keeping us together is sex and he lives an hour away. We only get to see each other every other weekends coz he work almost 80hrs a week while I go to college. We have a 3yrs age gap and even tho we broke up we didn’t stop seeing and talking to each other until he suddenly stop texting January of this year.. I was sad, lonely and depress at the same time because I gave him everything and he was everything to me but it wasn’t the same for him.. A month passed by, Two days after Valentines Day I saw a picture of my ex and my cousin together at a friend of my cousin’s facebook profile. First I suspected that my ex is dating my cousin’s friend. So I texted my cousin. My cousin and I are very close with each other. We grew up together, she’s my first cousin from my father’s side and whenever I have a problem with my ex I always tell her everything. They knew each other through me because I introduced him to all my family and friends while he only introduce me to the member of his family and 3 friends in the 3 yrs that we’ve been together. So after I msg. her she didn’t respond. Instead, I got a text from my ex that whom I haven’t talked for a month suddenly telling me that I should move on and not to hope for anything anymore coz he already moved on and wishes me good luck for the future. The day after is when my cousin replied saying that she didn’t expect that my ex has feeling for her and that she can’t hold his feeling.. I was hurt because the day when he stopped texting me was the day that I was with my cousin and celebrating my sisters birthday and Before Valentines Day, my cousin nd I were still together and I was telling her how I feel. So she knows I still love him and I always will.. “Yes, you can’t hold his feeling but you can. Does that mean you have feeling for him too?” Is all I could say to her. I was sad, angry and broken at the same time. But since I loved her and looked up to her so much I congratulated her even though thats not what i truly felt. and she responded saying that it is not a big deal and nothing will change. In that instant I realized that I don’t know this person anymore. All the years we grew up together are gone in an instant. She chooses him over me.. Now they’re together and she always post photos of him and her on insta and facebook. Which he doesn’t do with me. It feels so unfair that the guy that I gave my all to, the years that i’ve worked for was all taken away in a matter of time by a family member.. Even now Im still not over it because despite everything I still love him.. I feel stupid. But I don’t know what to do. I always appear cheerful coz I want them to see that Im fine without them but I always think about it. Does anybody here had a same experience?

Category: asked July 16, 2014

4 Answers

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Keep in mind that it was you who broke up with him. After you "invested all that time" into him, you are the one who called it quits, so you can not blame him for moving on. You could not realistically expect him to sit around and wait for you to change your mind.

As far as your cousin, she COULD have talked to you about it, but ultimately, she did not need your permission. You do not somehow own him and have to give someone else your blessing to be with him. That is between him and her. You are not in that loop now just because you dated him before.

So the answer to your question is that you do nothing, because there is nothing or you to do except keep living your life and stop being jealous. You made your decision, he made his. Respect his choices and teach yourself to sincerely move on and quit holding on to the past.
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While it does sound a little unfair for your cousin to do this, considering she knew you liked him a lot - Jonathan is right; you ended the relationship, you have no exclusive right to this guy anymore. I can understand your anger and feelings of being betrayed by your cousin, and that's fine, I definitely think you have right to feel disappointed in her but the only thing you can do is follow your ex's advice: "I got a text from my ex that whom I haven’t talked for a month suddenly telling me that I should move on and not to hope for anything anymore coz he already moved on and wishes me good luck for the future. "
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awww... that's so sad and heartbreaking! and yeah this may seem as the hardest thing to do but you should forget the guy who forgot about you. theres no use of thinking back at the memories. i don't think you did anything wrong at all, you just chose to be a better more mature person for you to be suitable to him and if he's a man of honor and his feelings are genuine he would have waited for you till you are ready, and he shouldn't have dated your cousin if he respects you at all !don't regret anything you've done, you were on the right track. they weren't.
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