What should I even begin to do?

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I feel stuck in my life and that there are very few options I can take. I’m stuck working at Walmart despite graduating college and I think about killing myself everyday that I’m there.

I’ve posted some variation of this almost everywhere on the Internet, and no one has been able to help me. It makes me angry and feel even more hopeless about my situation. I hate it when people say “it will get better” without offering any form of advice. Anyone can say that, and it offers me nothing except as an attempt to temporarily feel better about my situation (it doesn’t).

I have some options to get myself out of this, but I feel like they aren’t even good options:

1) I was offered a job to teach English in Japan. I’ve already got my visa and bought my ticket for next month, but I don’t even want to do it at this point in my life. I have so many fucking issues that I think moving to another country will just make it worse (read this post if you want more details). But if I don’t go, I could ruin my chance of ever getting a work visa to Japan again. I don’t even have the money to fund myself until I get paid.

2) Stay here and try my luck at finding better employment in the US. The only problem is, interviewers have proven that they won’t hire me because “I’m not confident enough.” Well, of course I’m not confident; I work at fucking Walmart as a cashier. I have no way of boosting my confidence because it’s constantly being challenged by customers, coworkers, and managers.

I want to see a therapist and get through my issues, but I don’t even have health insurance, and I don’t make enough at my job.

I don’t even know where to begin, and I feel like this post will either be ignored or no one will offer any advice that can actually help me.

What should I do to improve my life and get out of this fucking job and to move out of my parents’ house? I’m watching my youth slip away from me. Why does it seem like I’m the only one that cares? At least if I kill myself now, I can die as a good-looking young man and not become a 30+ year-old virgin.

Category: asked February 10, 2015

3 Answers

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I don't get it. Why do people always insist that I go to Japan?What if I don't want to go? What if my life is in such a rut that I can't even afford to go? Have any of you ever left the country before?I HAVE lived in Japan before, and while I enjoyed it, I don't have the resources to live there right now. I want to see a therapist! I want to get laid! I CAN'T AFFORD THIS!
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This is so frustrating.

Why does everyone, EVERYONE, I talk to insist I go to Japan? Very rarely does someone say that I shouldn't. It just seems like lazy thinking to me; the Japan option seems to be the most colorful and inviting option, so people pick that one.

What if I don't want to go? What if there are things that I want to do HERE. I just don't get why that's so hard for people to wrap their minds around. This is exactly the reason why I need to see a therapist; regular people can't offer a real solution.

Oh, and if you guys are so insistent on me going to Japan, how about you all lend me some money? After all, it seems like you're all more invested in this than me. Come on, I'll set up a Kickstarter page and you can send me money through that. If you won't lend me any money, then I guess you don't have much of a right to tell me to go to Japan.

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You're right.

I've been flip-flopping about this the past couple of months. It's just the cost of getting set up over there is expensive and if I end up not liking it, it's going to be hard to get out. It's a lot to invest in something that I might change my mind about. That's why I asked; because I can barely make up mind about it

Unless I can come up with a lot more money that will allow me to escape if it's not what I expected, I think I'm just not going to go. I'll just have to start job hunting again.