What should I do about my friend?


I’ve been friends with this girl for quite awhile and we talked alllll the time. Our boyfriends were incarcerated so that was how we started talking. To make a long story short: her boyfriend got out recently and 4 days later he left her. I tried to be comforting and tried to cheer her up. She will barely answer any of my text messages and when she does, she gives me one word answers. I don’t know if she no longer wants to associate with me because of her boyfriend or something else is going on because she talks to other people.

I’m pretty hurt by this because we were so close and I felt so comfortable around her. I never wanted to see her get hurt and if it happened I always told her I would be there. I’m not sure if I should confront her or just never bother with her again.

Tags: asked February 5, 2015

2 Answers

If you're close friends, then just let her know you're there for her. Her silence may have a few possible reasons. Maybe when she talks to you, she gets reminded of him, since that's the way you two got to know each other. It might also be that she just wants to be alone for a while. She's probably very upset and broken about what happened. From my own experience, when I had someone walking away, sometimes I'd just ignore the world for a while. Just give her some time and space. It's okay to let her know that you'll be there for her, but give her space to breathe. I know this is painful for you too, because you miss your close friend and you miss how it used to be. Right now she's going through something and even though you want to help, it's better to give her some space for now. I don't think it would be wise to not bother with her again. That would most likely only hurt her more than she probably already is. Be her friend and let her know that you'll be there to catch her when she falls.
Well I guess you can go about this 2 ways; 1)The best thing you can do; is let her know that your right by her side if she needs you to be. Sometimes people just need some time by themselves to think and grieve, if you/she cares about you, she will come to you when she needs it. 2)The painful, but sometimes necessary way; forget about her and move on with your own life, there is no point in focusing on things that can not and will not be. I'd wait a while to do number 2 though.