I am a Christian but I am not a homophobic bigot like everyone classifies us under. So...if you're willing to listen, I will give you my opinion. being gay, is a sin, which is obvious. God intended for man and woman to be together to balance each other out and reproduce, to "spread the seed" to eventually crush the head of the serpent (the devil). To answer your question about can you be a Christian and gay.. that is something I have struggled with for years!!! I always grew up knowing that the one way to heaven was through Jesus, if you believed that Jesus was 100% man and 100% God, Jesus came to die for our sins, rose 3 days later and is now living eternally with his father, God, then you were saved. But, also if you live in sin, which being gay and acting upon it is...then no you will not go to heaven because you know the rules, but you are choosing to disregard them and live by the rule(s) you set for yourself. And if you do not go to heaven, you are not a Christian. so, through breaking everything down and really analyzing and debating and countless hours of researching and frustration, I have come to the conclusion, the heart breaking conclusion, that no...you cannot be gay and still be a Christian. Now, saying that...I do not think any less of gay people. I love everyone equally, as does Jesus. Jesus loves everyone, whether they believe in him or not....but he will only let those who dedicated their lives proclaiming their love for him right on back. Some people say that is not loving (not letting someone live in heaven just because they do not love you) but if you look at it, it is completely loving. If your one request is for someone to love you unconditionally like they love you, and you don't..you cannot expect to be allowed to live in the palace. That is not fair.
Now, looking back at your question...I don't know what type of answers you were getting from these other Christians, but you said how it was not the answer you were looking for. I'm sorry, but I don't think mine is particularly the answer you were looking or hoping for either, but at least you got an answer that you do not think of has being hateful or spiteful in anyway. I am simply telling you the facts, it is all up to how you take them. I wish you the best, I really do and if you want to talk about this more, id be more than happy to!! :)